A book about PriSca :)

It's Valentine! =D

2012-02-14T20:15:00.000+08:00

Nah~ not like it's a happy day :(
but yea..it is..erm..sort of =P

It began with an 8am morning class, and believe me, all the IMU student just hate 8am class! haha
I woke up early in the morning, cut the super big + expensive RED apple that i've bought 2 days ago in carrefore =D and went out to school with my housemate, Joan.

We chatted for a short while on our way to school. After saying bye, i rushed to the lift and straight away went up to the 4th floor, a theatre where we call the Audi.
The 1st class was Polymorphism, one of the lecture in the module Physical Pharmacy, and next to that was our haematology PBL.
I was quite nervous cause I was the leader today.
And yea, my job was pretty simple, apparently.. It was just to begin with a very short opening speech, read out the case study that was given to us on the spot, and then make sure everyone is invovled and do talk, make the person to speak out if she has been keeping quiet for quit a long time, be the time keeper, wrap up at the end and distribute the job. It sounds simple right? but it doesnt really.. because I am the one who shall break the awkward silence once eveyone has stopped throwing out their point of view and etc etc.

But I thank God. I was quite worry about the guinea pig ileum practical yesterday and the PBL today. I prayed to God and asked for helping. And know what? yesterday our group was the 1st to finish the experiment. It was a 4 hour practical by the way, and we only used about 1 hour plus to finish, besides our graph plotted was indeed a nice one=D And today right? When the PBL was officially over, our instructor said that I've done well as a leader! yay!!! Give glory to God. It is He who helped me all while especially when doing the wrap up. I wasn't really know what to say, but just amazingly while I'm speaking the idea was just flowing out smoothly,some how :)

Yeap, and there is another joyful thing that are to be shared here.
Guess what, yesterday I received a little gift surprisingly!haha!
It was from the library aunty by the way.. As usual, I smiled at her while passing by.
This time, she didnt just smile back, but ask me 'How are you?'
'I'm fine' i replied. ' How about you?'
'ya...... I've something to give you, wait for a while a'
and suddenly she took out some cookies from her bag and passed it to me.
'I only give those who I like, and now I give you!'
waw you know, that feeling was just hard to be described. It was so delightful =D
I've never really talk to her, all those days was just a simple smile :)

Back to the topic, It's Valentine!
Some how this Valentine brings me extra loneliness.
It is just a normal Valentine as alll the years before, normal Valentine without a partner.
To me Valentine was just... Valentine lar!
But some how I really feel lonely in this Valentine..
hmm..maybe because I'm already 21??
nah~ hope that the next Valentine will be a meaningful one :)

At last, I wish you all of my readers a Happy Lovely Valentine! =)

My heart sank

2012-02-07T14:09:00.002+08:00

The day before yesterday,
I was buying some mini t-shirts and dress for my going-to-be-born baby cousin in KLCC.
The workers' eye were strange when they saw a young girl walk inside the shop and choose for baby stuffs.
Although it was weird, but I do enjoy buying things for her and cant wait to see her. It's so happy to buy things for her.

Well but the workers seriously make me feel like taking a big board with words written on it
'not like I'm buying for my child, i'm buying for my cousin okay?? '
Also wanted to show that I'm not buying for myself, I purposely called my mum and asked which size should I buy for her. There are few options available: 0-3months, 4-6months, 9-12months and up to 24 months.

Surprisingly, my mum asked me not to buy yet. She said doctor has suspected abnormalities in my lil cousin's heart and brain..and so my aunt will check it in Singapore the next day.

I didnt really take it seriously and continue my shopping. Because I thought it is normal to find abnormalities in fetus.. I was one of those who had been suspected to have no heart beating when I was about 3 months big in my mum's uterus. My dad insisted to stay me alive and see, I'm healthy and strong now.

Yesterday I received a call from my mum in the evening. She said the doctors in Singapore confirmed the abnormalities in the lil girl. Therefore, she has to be aborted on Wednesday.

My heart sank.

It is much different to see a fetus that are going to be aborted compared to a chronic patient who you never know the time he/she will leave. You know the little girl can only live for only 1 more day. Even if she is still a fetus, but she is alive! Her heart is beating! She can feel!! My heart just sank for waiting her dead.
She is my cousin. My close relative.

To me, abortion is cruel. It is killing a life legally. And it is killing you own child. But who am I to judge? I cant ask them to stop. Not like they want to do this, I believe the pain in their hearts is much much more than what I'm feeling now. back to reality, who is going to take care of the child? It is a whole life commitment. Who is going to pay for the coming huge medical fee?

I pray. I really hope that God will have mercy on her, heal her and give her a chance to live. I pray that God will do miracle in her. And I even promised to take the responsibility to teach her bible if she is born. But still, I will accept whatever God's will. For I know that He has His own mighty plan and the plan is always good. Just that our eyes couldn't see now. Even if she cant be born at last, it does not mean that God's mercy is not with her. I know His sight in seeing things is far more further than me. I have faith in Him. For He is fiable, trustworthy!

The baby hasn't got a name yet. If I am to give her a name, I'll call her Elliana- The Lord has responded.

Growing changing and transforming

2012-01-17T00:57:00.004+08:00

I seriously found myself change a lot.
From a speaker to a listener.
Well but still I took the responsibility to speak in front of ppl..
It is good. But some how I wish I could be more like a listener.
I used to love to talk so much. Laugh out loud and never been caring for my image in front of my friends, neither I did in the public like mamak stall? hmm
Not that I care now. It's just..some how..I just prefer keeping quiet and..to listen.

Is this good? Well perhaps people really get changes in the age of 20/21.
Perhaps you'll be a quiet lady when you were a chatter box last time?
Or a silent girl will transform to a talkative person when she get older?

Is this a process called maturation? haha then i guess I'll be more mature after gone through this messy-feeling period.hmmmm

But..somehow..I wish I could have a pair of ears for me. So many things to keep inside..yet hard to and cant tell..
I'm not happy actually.. But thanks God that He gives me peace.Sometimes you'll find yourself pity when you know you're not happy at all. But some how all these uneasy thought just become nothing when you find that there is actually great peace in your heart which no one else can ever give except God. And you're so lucky to have that opportunity to have the real peace inside you. Somehow all these depressing facts become NOTHING when you see God, the one who create you actually have His eyes on you each and every seconds.
Happy or unhappy suddenly become nothing, when you see happiness doesn't really a big thing that makes you feel meaningful to live but peace. Happiness will fade. Once that cheering thing gone, it disappear before you even realized. But there is something which we seldom realized its significance, until someday you lose something important, or until you are thrown into a desert, then you'll found it. It is like a hot spring in the winter or a fountain in the desert. Which lasts. And no matter what happen, it still like a scar on your epithelial tissue, once there, forever there. No matter what surgery you tried, no matter what cream you applied, no matter how much you desire to remove it, it will still be there. You might thought it disappear as you cant see it. But underneath you skin, it's still there. :) and that's the real peace which God has given to you that moment you realized He is the only God and you surrender in Him. The peace will never faded.
Until one day you lose things you grabbed hardly or things you thought you can never live without, and you thought you'll lose the meaning of living but the fact is you dont, and you start to wonder how come you still live as brightly as other ppl or even brighter than them? then you'll found and see the peace in you which make you fearless of everything except God. The word 'peace' come into you when you know that the Messiah is called Emmanuel.
Emmanuel means 'God with us' by the way, and Messiah means the savior.
Thanks God for He has chosen me to be His child, His people and the citizen of heaven. =)

2012-01-08T00:20:00.001+08:00

nah~说些有趣的事

我发现好多美好的人。。感恩神把他们放在我身边。

虽然很少聊天，不过那些email / message 真的很温馨 :)

我发现神放了小天使在我身边，无条件地帮助我。

虽然认识并不深，不过那‘随传随到’的援手真的让我很感动。

我发现一些很可爱的人，有的跟我很相似，有的并不会

虽然接触不算深厚，不过那在郁闷时出现的脸孔总让我觉得生活有意义

我发现一个很特别有很普通的人，他的出现让我的日子很美好又很懊恼

虽然或许称不上是朋友，不过我也不知为什么，就很想把他写下来。

其实我知道 :p

好啦。。是时候睡觉了。

晚安:O

Yahweh is God!

2011-11-29T01:49:00.001+08:00

It's holiday it's holiday it's holiday!!!
so many things to write but i'm so lazy to sort out all those pieces of happenings in my mind..
I learnt a lot about christianity throughout these few months. God taught me a lot through 2 ways to live classes, through things that happened around me, through decisions that I had to made, through church, through bible and through the Holy Spirit.
I found myself changed a lot. No fear of evangelizing, no ashamed of the gospel, and no proud of myself.

I thank God for shaping me. He never lost His promises, He never fail His covenant. He is just, He is fair, He is righteous. He is God. God is YAHWEH. YAHWEH is God. He is.

I'm so glad, so happy, so excited, so shock that God, this true God that I am worshiping is such a great perfect God. He is so glorious, He is the creator of the earth, not only the earth but the universe, all the galaxies, stars, sun...He is the creator of all things! All things should bow down and kneel before Him but people now instead reject their creator, they mock, deny, disdain of the gospel and yet, the creator still love us, mind us, keep us, waiting for His people to repent. He is such a glorious God, He is glorious, but how can this glorious God, who is worshiping by all the angels all day and all night, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant,being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
I cant imagine how great is His love, how great, how amazing, how awesome is God.
原来神是这样的神！ :)

I was again amazed by God few days ago. I bought a wardrobe and a book shelf from a shopping mall few days ago and they promised to offer me free delivery. But when the lorry arrived, the management office of Vista B asked me to give them a deposit of RM200 so that to allow the lorry to came in. I refused to do so and therefore they asked me to ask the workers to carry the things all way long up to my unit. And so I did. When I talked to the workers only I realized that those boxes are not just like the empty boxes which we carried but are containing weighty woods that make them so so so heavy. So one of the worker asked me to give him RM10, he said since I refused to pay the rm200 for the management, then I can pay him for only 10 bucks and then he will help me to carry, to make things easy.I was shocked for the first time people ask me to involve in corruption. I didn't know what to do except to say no. ' but I cant do this because I'm a christian' I said without knowing how powerful it actually is.

The worker stunted and helped me unconditionally.

In bible, Matthew 10:42 it says

42 And cwhoever gives one of dthese little ones even a cup of cold water because he is a disciple, truly, I say to you, he will by no means lose his reward.”

It is the first time I experienced people receives me because I am a christian. I cant give him money neither can I give him any 'goods' but I prayed for 3 of them after went back home. I strongly believe that they will by no means lose their reward.

Can you see how powerful God's name is? A single simple sentence ' I am a christian ' could stop corruption from being happened. A single sentence of saying no and declare my identity as a christian could stop sinning. How great is God. He is sovereign! Even the heart of the worker He reign.

Praise the LORD!

It's the end of the semester

2011-10-31T19:45:00.002+08:00

Time flies. I still rememeber the time when I was waiting for the opening of our first semester. It was a long time, for about 4 months plus. I'd got nothing to do except praying, sleeping, eating and watching drama series. I'd got no where to go except going to church and stay at home. That time, I felt dying and everyday was the same.I'd been longing for entering university and to start my new busy life.

And now, sitting in the library, reflecting all those times, I found what I've already realised many years ago--- time flies! and it really does!

It's reaching the end of the semester. This week is our 1st week of study break. In 2 weeks time, we will be facing our EOS. Many things have happened that really coloured up my life, yet many things have changed and I know there are still something and something that going to change.

Hah! my last post was about the fall right? and yeap! we made it! :D
Know what? our team got champion in the cheerleading competition!! wohooo!!! Go Phoenix!!!
Fight Phoenix Fight Fight Fight!
I was really suprised that we got a champion. And, And!!! Phoenix got the overall champion in IMU CUP 2011!! YEPEEEE!!! WEHEEEE! WAHAHAHAHAH :DDD
so happy you know!
That's my first medal in sport and it is GOLD! YEAP! GOLD!!!!
so happy!hahahaha

I'm happy not fully because of the gold thingy, but the frienship we got through all these days. Many of us got injured but we stood up again. And know what? all of us were having tests, summative and all that. but we never skipped the practises instead we had our study group together during the practises. I think we were the least tough team. Apperently you see we use more time for studying than doing stunts..:D
Hmm.. typing until here, I feel it's time to upload some photos for better explanation in expressing how happy I am :)

deng deng deng deng! Present to you, IMU PHOENIX CHEERLEADERS 2011 :D

Before the competition.

Our last post.

The champion!! Can see me??haha

The gathering in Chilis, Mid Valley

Need more??

Here it goes again! =D

During practise

Oops.. A lil bit blur

Hah..Alright..That's enough I think. wu4 yi3 xi1 wei2 gui4 =P

I'm longing for next year's choir concert and cg. I believe lives will be changed by God through cg. :)

Alright, it's to study.. Human biology T.T

BEFORE THIS,

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

The choristes

The cell group

And last but not least,

Jerry's home :D

I thank God so much for what He has done in me.

He teaches me, leads me and loves me.

Finally I got a time to breath

2011-09-27T20:53:00.001+08:00

Reading on the title, I guess you've already known how busy I was during these few weeks.
Report and cheer practice and choir and testS and many many more activities.
Everyday I'm like a clock, following the same tempo and move again and again.
Throughout the whole busy 'process' I gone through depression, stress, tears, and emo. I shared about how busy I was during yesterday's cg. One of my friend ask me why my stressness are not shown on face? I smiled and replied 'maybe tomorrow?' As I was thinking about her question, I ask myself too. Yea, I've been so busy and tensed but do I really get depressed? No! And now I was again reminded of those little things God has done in me that lights up my days. Everyday I'm stressing but everyday I got various joy and surprises as well which really make up my day. And God actually grant me power in doing all those things like miracle-ly finish one report per day. He know that I love singing, and so He gave us a chance to practice songs and performed in the middle of the 'process'. He know I need a rest, and so He gave me a super long resting time during my church retreat. I still remember that morning, I woke up early and climb all the way up to the top of the hotel. I called my mum, appologize to her as we just had a fight the day before. I prayed, talked to God and worship Him. It was a great quiet time with my LORD.=)

I've been through some injuries these weeks. The first one was my head. I got a concussion on the left side of my head and that part was significantly swollen. It was almost recoverd after 2 weeks time and at that time, I fell again. This time is a great fall. It hit my pelvis ( i think so). I can walk, but not fast. I cant jump and really feel pain when I try to bend forward. I really do not know what can I do and what should I do. I do hope that I could be a great flier but now..
I tried to attend the practices and do warm up as usual. But the more I do the more I pain. One day, my captain came to me and told that they might replaced me with the new girl. I dont blame them at all because I know I cant be a flier anymore. And somehow I felt relieved. I am in a dilemma. I dont know whether should i quit. I know my limit..and I know it is going to the end.

I went to the chiropractic centre today for examination. The doctor said my bond is a lil bit senget. And so I need to do some theraphy. It was quite a funny experience. I've never realised that seeking for a chiropractic means you have to be touched by the doctor. I was shocked when the doctor started to examine my back bone! haha..But he is really a good doctor. He pointed out the injured point accurately. He even found other 2 points of my body where I do feel not well when get tired. I never told him also. I thought it was just some muscle pain. My housemates where there and they were like watching show..haha..see how the doctor pull my limbs and all that. I was scared by the ' cracking' sound my body made when he stretched my head and shoulder :(
It was a nice theraphy by the way. But it cost 120++ T.T
and I need to go back few more times and each and everytime will cost me another RM80++ :(

ah by the way, the reason why i'm so free today is that i just finish my human biology test!!wohooo!
But it was a super tough test..
That's all for today. bye!

When we are frustrating and depressed, just think of our God. Knowing that He still reign and there are actually many little blessings surround us everyday, just that we dont realise :)

The power of fellowship

2011-08-31T22:16:00.002+08:00

Sometimes it is just great that you have a fellowship in your life.
It is just lovely that you have a group of friends in Christ who always care for you and take the initiative to look for you.
It is just touched that even sometimes you've forgotten some of them or even feel like not to entertain them, but still they are there for you.
I thank God that He love me so much.
He always surprise me by different ways and bring me happiness in ways that I never thought of, or even never had I ask for.

I was emo these few days. My heart was filled by emptiness. and He know that.
I thought I am ok and fine.
Today, during my devotion, the book asked me what are the things that disrupt me from worshiping God with all heart. And i answered. The next question was, what are you going to do in order to solve them? And I wrote, ' pray to God. Ask God to help me because I know that I cant solve it by myself.' and so I prayed.

My life back to normal right after I stepped out from bedroom. I wasn't in good mood throughout the whole evening. I was ok with that and left myself in bad mood. I did not talk politely to my neighbour's children and treated them like a strict teacher to her students. And I dont find it wrong or unwise.

Until one of my friend phoned me. ' Hey Jia Ying, where are you? At home huh?'
'yeea..'i replied.
' Okay! now we are going to your place!hahaha'
' what?? dont! '
' hahaha, no choice we are heading now! bye!'
'bye..'

I wanted to hide myself in my lil' home and dont feel like entertaining anyone.
After putting down my phone, I went upstairs and change cloth. (Well, i used to wear pyjamas at home.)
Suddenly a sentence that I read during devotion popped out in my mind.
' If one couldn't love his brother, how can he say that he loves God?'

Few minutes after, they arrived. We chit chat and talked about my life in IMU. I shared about the cf, my housemates, awesome people i met and also the Ca ro mio ben thing, which people thought I am an awesome vocalist but actually I didnt really sing well during the orientation. We laugh together, talked about nonsense, and had dinner together. Somehow I was brought out from emptiness and see light.

I am glad that I have a best father and a best mother.
They always treat our friends and any guest who happen to come to our house nicely.
They love to do so. I do learnt a lot form them. The way they treat others, the way they help people who are in needs. They never hesitated to do so even in times when we are not rich.
I appreciate their kindness. I respect them. They not only tell us to be a good man but teach us by showing us how.
God is amazing. I am blind. Many times, I could not see the wonderfulness of things arround me nor I realised my own sin. I always thought I am a good girl and my family isn't lovely enough.
Thanks God that He always brighten my eyes and let me see all the wonderful lovely people in my life and also what is wrong with me. So that I can change and do likewise as God's characters.

God is great. He loves me before I know Him.
His love is so much that fills up all my heart and all my soul.
I live in God's love.
I live in love.

God is gracious!

It's a break!

2011-08-30T23:25:00.002+08:00

Now we are having our Hari Raya break..
It's a one week break. A great time for me to rest.
But sincerely, I dont really like this kind of way of spending my time.
Feel myself lazy and lifeless.
Yes i need a rest. I hope for holiday..but I'm sick of long holiday.
I've had it too much until I dont feel excited at all during the middle of the long holiday.

I'm tired. Tired of being people of facebook.
It's meaningless. I went hiking this morning and has came back to skudai at the afternoon.
I spent the rest of the day on facebook, 'stalking' people, viewing my own wall right down bottom to the time when I first join facebook. And I found nothing but only emptiness.
What's for I spent my holidays inside facebook?
Somehow I started to not like holiday and facebook.
How my life would be without facebook? How our life would be if facebook never exist?
I believe they would be a better one, which are more interesting and meaningful.
I love the true world. Someone please rescue me from the virtual world!

Thanks Lord that i've friends like shao wen and kah chiin, I've housemates like hannah, amanda, celine and joon leong.That which I suppose them called true friend in the real world.
Thanks God I've Jesus my Lord in my life, who makes me live. Without Jesus, I'm dead.
He is where I found true happiness and peace. He is where i found myself.
Thank you Jesus. Thank you Jesus for your love in me. Your love is so much and powerful that I who was filled with emptiness found a light after thinking of your love. My tiredness relieved after I was again reminded that You love me. My tiredness gone after again I was reminded that You reign and I am Your precious daughter. Thanks Lord. I love You Lord.

The kepo

2011-08-20T17:53:00.002+08:00

Why is love always come with pain?
Pain is so kepo..wherever love go, it will go along.
Pain, you're so kepo!

Lingering

2011-08-20T14:51:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, I found myself stupid, lingering on something that seems so not right.
But I really do not know what should I do except praying.
I dont know whether should I move on, stay still or let go. Everything was okay but somehow the more I stay still, the more I be distracted, and keep doing things that I should not have done.

And now I feel like crying and lost. But, no matter what it is, I still have peace in my heart. For I know my dear Father in heaven still reign. For I know He love me so much! =)

A day in the library, a moment in the LT2

2011-08-06T16:56:00.004+08:00

It's another Saturday! Today we have got our first official moral studies class. We woke up early in the morning, wearing informal cloth and attended the class at 9a.m.
This is an interesting subject that we watched a movie during the class and our 'homework' was just to write down the good characteristics of 3 random roles in a 100+ essay or point form, regardless the proper use of grammar.

After havimg lunch, Shao Wen and I entered the LT2 and again, we sang and played piano. I wonder if there is some bad spirit inside the theatre due to some personal reason..hmm hmm..

Then we entered the library and started our revision. Hah! again I met the people I usually meet in the library :)
And then, Amanda came and asked me whether can i teach her the general chemistry. Sure i said can! I prayed in my heart before teaching her. I thank God that He gave me wisdom to teach and through those time, I got to revise the content again and got my memory refreashed. Thanks God that He always know my needs. He gives me even before I ask. =) How great is our God!

Yeppee! Today we gonna have nice dinner that will be prepared by shao wen and amanda.haha.. Shao Wen will stay at my place today :D

Tomorrow is Sunday. May God bless today, and tomorrow.

Ohya~ there is one thing that i wanna to emphasize.. Thanks God that I have a great family that love me so much! I love you all.. sincerely! Please accept my kiss. MUAKSSS! =D

HyeMi

2011-07-30T17:24:00.002+08:00

This topic is taken from shao wen's blog.
It's Saturday, shao wen has left to home town, my house mates have gone to time square while I'm alone in the library to rush my Geberal Chemistry report.
I supposed to finish it yesterday but due to some reason, I decided to put my report aside, and play first! :D
It was like that, my orientation group, the bumblebeeees suddenly asked me whether I'm free at night because they have planned a steamboat gathering. First I rejected, and the reason was to finish my report since majority of my friends have done it already. But then the temptation seems growing bigger when more and more ppl said that they are going to join. Besides, during the seniors-juniors session, the senior ask us to enjoy and play more in our first year as we will not have time to rest in our 2nd year. And so I considered his advice and just forgot bout the report! =D

It was a fun night indeed! All of us are not good in cooking but we were just carry on doing what we were doing. I still cant forget about the fried chicken fillet. It was so nice! I could feel the unconfortableness of my throat but still I cant stop eating them. So nice you know! haha..And the other food were nice also just that the soup was too salty. We used chickem bones to make the soup and also added some aginomoto.
The food was so much that we all couldn't finish at all, and so i dabao some back for my housemates.

At night, I kept drinking water and drinking water and drinking water because my body was like a lil bit dehydrated due to the high level of salt consumption.haha. and even now, i can still feel the ' salty feeling'.

I've actually done my report this afternoon but the printer suddenly fail to function. Haih so troublesome.
It's like nothing to do in the library . Haih,, so i started to read friends' blog. Somehow I smile and even laugh when reading shao wen's article. I was shocked that she has actually uploaded my photo and also the one wearing pyjames.haha..
I'm shocked too that she calls him HyeMi! haha.. He is a nice guy by the way..I see him everyday in the library, quite a hardworking student! haiya..
Oh ya, he is using the computer beside mine! :)

okay, i think it's time to study the functional group blah blah blah and all that.. good bye guys! :D

It is another long journey.

2011-07-22T11:40:00.000+08:00

I thank God for leading me to IMU.
I'd been asking and wondering why God want me to choose this path.

Truly speeking, even now, I'm still wondering why.
But, He asked me to rely fully on Him. Just rely on Him entirely,in everything.

During the orientation i met seniors, friends and some college mates, and also some cute guys!hahaha
My housemates are funny. They're like so desperate in finding cute guys, so we had our Cute Guy Hunting during the first day of the very first semester. And we do found some :D
They are not like those very playful girls. Instead, they're those around the top students who really study EVERY NIGHT!
And the good thing is, I'm therefore get influenced and really do study every night.
Nerding becomes one of our essential activities .

And still, the favourite place of mine in IMU is the library. This library is not as big as that in TARC, but it is more convinient and systematic.
Though the interior design of the library is awesome, but somehow i find it scary at night. In front of the library is the human boday museum, which means, they are a dead body and many other different body parts inside.
While I was nerding in the library last night, i feel like going to toilet. When I stepped out of the library, I suddenly realised that there is a dead body in front of me by about 250m. some of the lights had already been closed since it was a night time. And the toilet is so far away that we have to pass through a long long way before getting to there. It was so quiet and dim. woooh~ scary.

Back to the orientation week. We had a game named Signature Hunting, which is about hunting seniors in order to get their signature. It's aint the whole story. The seniors will ask us to perform or do something to persuade them. One of them asked us to sing. And so I sang the ' Cal ro mio ben' , an italian song taught by my sister few weeks ago. They all shocked and was like really impressed. I was so happy and a lil bit proud. And I feel lucky because none of them actually know I didnt sing well at all.haha

But, I found a 'treasure' here. In a coincidence, I joined the choir society this Wednesday.We are supposed to join any societies at August. That's quite a moderate long story by the way so Im not going to explain it here. Before we met the coach, we were told that our coach is only 10 something in age, and he sings opera .Sincerely,I didnt expect him to sing like the real opera since this is a medical university and not a music university. But you know, I really get impressed when he opened his mouth. He is like about the standard of a musical university graduate. And he do really plays well in piano. Even better than my sis.haha XD
Okay Okay,, it's time to back to my nerding ocean. Bye :D

羊

2011-06-29T16:48:00.002+08:00

羊，假若偏行了己路，离开了牧羊人，

或许它会以为自己得了自由

就凭着自己渺小迷蒙的眼睛去展开找寻山谷与泉源的路程

即时走到了山谷，却不知四处都是材狼，

不知自己正被才狼的眼睛注视着，

不知自己正走向死亡的道路。

又有另一类羊，甚是小心。

它深知材狼的存在，凡事都小心翼翼

终于，找到了山谷，踏上了青草地

可是却永不敢低下头吃草，因为害怕什么时候才狼会出现

它自以为很有智慧，因凭着自己的谨慎保住了性命

然而，却不知从什么时候开始就失去了生命中宝贵的喜乐和平安。

就算处在了青草地，心里也感不到一丝的喜乐与满足。

它也从没想过，自己其实一开始就被才狼盯上了。

有一群羊，爱它的牧羊人。紧紧跟着，不离开他。

它们行牧羊人的道，守牧羊人的指示，并且专靠他。

它们每一天都跟着牧羊人的脚步。

偶尔在树下，或溪水旁，或干旱之地发现了别的迷失的羊，

牧羊人就将那迷失的羊抱起，并温柔地告诉它：‘从今以后，你不再孤单了。’

牧羊人深爱他的羊群，他的羊群也爱牧羊人。

它们每天行牧羊人的道，守牧羊人的指示，并且专靠他。

羊群跟着牧羊人到处走，不管是走在草地上，还是处旷野中

它们仍不害怕，因为知道牧羊人从没离开过它们。

牧羊人常常给羊群惊喜，引它们到自己从没想过有那么青翠可口，安静与凉爽的草原

或是在干旱之地为它们带来早已预备的，充足有余如江河的水。

有时候，牧羊人会把羊群领到有才狼的地方，

并不是让才狼伤害羊群，他甚至不让才狼接近羊群

这时，牧羊人会用他大能的膀臂击打才狼，

让羊群认识到它们的牧羊人是多么的棒和有大能！

羊群们就欢呼跳跃，因为一天比一天的更认识牧羊人，对牧羊人的爱就跟着日子增长。

然而却不知道牧羊人的爱到底是深到什么程度

只知道牧羊人从一开始就以最深的爱来爱它们了，而且从没减少过。

音乐分享

2011-06-08T17:37:00.007+08:00

刚从房间里抱了手提电脑，

顺手拉开抽屉，拿了一片只听过一次的CD, 就下楼了。

终于，我买了新的battery.

据说呀，我电脑电池的寿命快到了。

拖了很久都没去订购，因为懒得去查该买什么样的电池。

结果阿，闲着没事做，就上网找了些资料。

那儿写了一个adapter & 两个batteries.

我得承认，对电器，我实在一窍不通。

看了大家的评估，我发现adapter 不耐用，不过 batteries的评估就很不错。

我就觉得奇怪啊，怎么battery没有插头？那怎么charge?　阿是不是买了battery的话就不用再charge了？那不是太好了吗？

于是我就打了dell　的热线去询问。

我这才知道，原来阿，adapter 与　battery明明就是两个个别的东西。

用途不一样的。

摆了个大雾隆，总算买对了东西。

然后呀，就拿了CD 来听。

我很少买CD 的。只有听到很喜欢，我才会买。

不过阿，这一次买的，并不是因为觉得很好听。

说真的，那时我连试听都没听过，就买了。

专辑是 Josh 赖力豪的　‘渴望爱’。

还记得那时是接近 Pre-U 考试的时候，大家都在忙读书，只有我一个倒过来忙choir的performance.

那时没错的话是 SSSH　在办一个活动，所以就请了赖力豪和其他两位艺人歌星来宣传。

我从远处就看见了力豪。那时还不知道他是歌星。只是觉得他好帅! =P

一直到他上了舞台，我才知道他是谁。

他们表演完后就坐在台上等人买专辑。

我看着人群渐渐散了，就决定上前去买。

我记得我是第一个给他签名的，那支笔的墨还没出来，所以我的是浅浅的。

我和朋友就留在台上跟他拍照和聊天。

才知道，他也是唱choir的，是tenor.听了之后我们都很兴奋，好像有了共同点那样～哈哈

回家后才开始听听看专辑里的歌。

才发现，原来他也是基督徒，会作词，而且也很爱画画。

专辑的插画也都是他自己画的哦。很有意思。

有一张，他画了一间屋子，屋子建在山崖上。

仔细一看，那山崖是个心型耶！就觉得他很可爱。

今天，拿着歌词，再一次一首一首的听，就决定在这里分享一处我蛮喜欢的歌词

上演　词：李欣仪　曲：饶善强

蝴蝶一旦拥有了梦

就决意离开了蛹

雨水一旦被冷落

就决意地降落　肆意地离开天空

＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝

就这一处，我觉得蛮美的　:)

音乐我觉得还好

大部分的歌曲都是同一个人做的

所以风格很像

我妈说好听

可是就不是我喜欢的那种风格

它是那种。。很马来西亚吉隆坡的感觉

不过呀，当我去看他的mv时，

我就喜欢上了他的歌。

真的是十分的精致。

有两首歌的mv是连在一起的，故事也很感人。

整体上我觉得很好。

专辑的设计很丰富和可爱。

从专辑封套，歌词本到mv, 都有很多意想不到的惊喜，

真的可以感受到他们的用心 =)

大家有空的话可以去听听看 !　

p/s 记得顺便看mv哦！

127

2011-06-06T23:57:00.003+08:00

Oh well it's 1270!
Can you see that?
I love this number! Ask me why if you're interested =P

Wisdom tooth

2011-06-06T23:43:00.002+08:00

I'm so tortured by the wisdom tEEth! :(
I'm so gonna to remove them very soon!
Oh my pity gum..

If you hesitate in getting your wisdom teeth removed whatever the problem, consider the consequences;

Braces to undo the damage cause by your wisdom teeth
Gum disease
Tooth decay

I Can Only Imagine

2011-05-21T15:55:00.003+08:00

I can only imagine what it will be like, when I walk by Your side...
I can only imagine, what my eyes will see, when Your Face is before me!
I can only imagine. I can only imagine.

(Chorus)
Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you, Jesus? Or in awe of You, be still?
Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing 'Hallelujah!'? Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine! I can only imagine!

I can only imagine, when that day comes, when I find myself standing in the Son!
I can only imagine, when all I will do, is forever, forever worship You!
I can only imagine! I can only imagine!

That was the song which I dance with Zhe Yan, Yong Le, Jeremy, and some friends during one of the youth camp.
Now that I found the lyrics, only I found how amazing the song is!
Wishing that someday, I could dance again.
Dance for my Lord.

An Exhortation

2011-05-20T22:20:00.007+08:00

I once hate a person. I've never dislike a person in such a way until such level in my life.

I know I should't have had prejudice on him. He has not done anything wrong nor anything that offended me.

But I just could not help myself, I just cant stop abominate him.

Many times, God tells me not to hate him and I've prayed many times for not hating him but trying to love him. But i faced a problem. My mum is however loving him so much that she always asks him to have dinner with us. And due to this reason, I have to meet him AT LEAST three times every week. I was so pissed off and have argued many times with my mum.

I told a person who I trusted so much that I hate the person, and I also told her the reason.

Many weeks have gone through. I have always put this issue in my pray list that I want to not hating him anymore for this is prohibited and disliked by God. We should love each other in church no matter who they are. We should call one another brother and sister in Christ, because we are a family. And in bible it says

' 9 No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God's seed remains in him; he cannot go on sinning, because he has been born of God. 10 This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not a child of God; nor is anyone who does not love his brother.' and ' 15 Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life in him. ' ' ...23 And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. 24 Those who obey his commands live in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us.'' ( 1 john , Chapter 3 )

That means if I do not love my brothers and sisters, then I am not a child of God. Because those who is born of God will not continue to sin. I knew this, I even able to memorize other verses in bible of teaching us to love each other. But still I could not love him.

However, I still keep it on prayer as I do really hope that I could be released from this dreadful sin. And so I continue praying.

Even today, I told God that I want to stop disliking him during my devotion. But still I did not truly step out any step forward and was so unwilling to stretch out my hand. I 'loved' with words and tongue but without actions and in truth.

Until few hours ago, I found the one who I trusted so much betrayed me. She told other person that I hate him and also the reason. I was shocked. This is the first time i felt being betrayed. I asked her and she admitted immediately. I was a little bit angry but still in a gentle tune I said : ' Hey you know, I am so angry with you. How can you tell my things to other people?'

But she did not show any apologize for betraying me. Instead she became angry with me for I keep asking her.

And so, we had a quarrel and I cried. But she kept madding on me as if I am the one who has done wrong since I did not tell her it was a secret.

She then spoke it out loud as like telling everyone in that place that I hate the person.

I lost control and yelled on her. I shouted as loud as I could and said she is disgusting.

Rushing up to my room, I cried, as what I usually did when I was a teen.

I know I have done something wrong. I know I shouldn't have shouted on her. I know I shouldn't have hate the person.

I seldom hate people. To me, it is like so much ugly since I used to be friendly to him. I smiled at him, chatted with him, but he never know I am so dislike of him in reality. I've been trying so much to love him and I know it is still a process of changing, in the middle of evolution. I am still learning how to love a person who I felt so unlike-able.

It's a big lesson to me. Never hate people for it will brings you many disaster that you've never thought of. My relationship with the one I trusted so much broken down. Other people in that room know that I hated him. They all know that I was pretending myself on him.

Thanks God, for this exhortation really exhorted me. I dare not to hate my brothers and sisters anymore. And I am glad that lastly, I found the way to love him.

Thanks God, that i went down and gave my apologize to the person I trusted so much. It was a tough chat. We shouted at each other with my tears sheeting down my face. Finally, we've got to talk. But still, the scar is there. I hope that someday, I could love the person I trusted so much like how I love God. And so do her.

In conclusion: never ever hate a person.

A dream

2011-05-10T18:59:00.008+08:00

I dreamed of him.
It was about a letter, written by him, all in mandarin.
I couldn't finish reading them all after interrupted by the stupid phone alarm.
And i just tried hard to recall back what was written but i failed.
So i laid back, hoping that i could go back to the dream again but i could not.
hmm...

Remember last time i told you about a visit to some old folks houses during Chinese New Year?
One of them has gone. She was the first one we visited.
It's been 9 years since my last attendance to a funeral, which was when my grandfather passed away.
This time, i know the meaning of dead more.
I was like a naive child, running and playing around with my church friends during grandpa's funeral, without any tears or any deeper feeling.

During the funeral two days ago, people went forward, making testimonial, like how their mother or grandmother changes after believing in Jesus.
I am so glad that she is now sleeping in peace, waiting for a day where we will all meet together. It was a peace funeral by the way. I am glad that God has chosen her, and she has made the right choise.
One day, we will meet again.
Good bye.

道路

2011-03-22T21:39:00.004+08:00

明天就要上kl了
会探望团契的弟兄姐妹,给他们个惊喜
然后另一天就会回学院跟　louis 拿oo的文凭,顺便看看能否偶然地碰见拉曼的朋友们
很想念大家:)
之后呢,就要去imu,交第一学期的学费

终于阿,我决定了顺服神的道路,去那儿读大学
为这事阿,都不知哭了多少次
能出外国读大学一直是我的愿望
可是我知道,我爱的上帝有他自己的计划
经过了长时间的struggle,我选择顺服,敬畏神

不过阿,为这样的结果,我感到很开心
因为我不害怕
因为我知道我正在走在神为我预备的路
他一直都在看顾我

我曾经祷告说
'神阿,我爱你,为着你赐下的丰盛的生命我向你感恩
就算你把一切都拿走的时候,我仍然爱你'
结果呢,当他要我放弃梦想跟随他时,我却挣扎了许久
那段日子真的很不喜乐
每次来到神面前都哭着祷告,之后心就好像开了一样,看见什么是该做的,又喜乐了
可是不久,想到国外的好,我又开始忧愁了起来
一直这样,反反复复,过了好些日子

终于,我决定了,决定跟随主耶稣的脚步
现在的心是不忧愁,不害怕的
因为我深知我走在了对的道路　:)

今天妈妈叫我看报纸,看到了nottingham的广告
我又开始动摇了,脾气突然很不好
心里一点点就很愤怒
把自己关在房间,玩game
逃避
不知为何每次当我一有想去那儿读书的念头
心情就自动的变得很愤怒

不过啊,当我开始祷告,在神面前哭诉说出自己的疑惑,
开始灵修时
他就透过灵修的刊物,再次对我说话
使我有勇气选择跟随他
感谢神,从来没放弃我

结果呢,心里的喜乐与饱足又回来了
这饱足是没其他任何事物能给的

交钱后的那一天
我还是一样会去nottingham面试
就算是去取个经验吧　:)

Overseas

2011-03-21T21:14:00.003+08:00

一个人出了国又安全地回来了!
:)
回家的路途中,嘴角不禁喜洋洋的笑了起来
我终于征服了mrt! 哈哈
小的时候我总不敢独自一人去新加坡
不知道要搭什么巴士,不晓得要在哪儿下站,更不把握该往哪儿走.

小的时候总是跟着堂妹或表姐或传道到新加坡去
表姐和传道皆是驾着车进新加坡的
跟着堂妹呢,我们会跑来跑去,串来串去,挤在mrt里,然后门一开又跑着换路线.
那时对我来说是既好玩又惊险的

我总是感到纳闷,
疑惑着怎么她们都知道在哪儿下站,怎么都知道进去的那扇门是指向对的道路
我总是作着跟屁从,毫无方向感地紧紧跟着.

去了吉隆坡,发现劭雯也是会搭lrt
我问她怎么知道要在哪儿上,哪儿下,要搭左边,还是右边
她说,'就看地图啊'
阿奇怪啦,那地图是怎么看的,我看也看不懂!

起初我只会去klcc,因为从melati utama去到哪儿根本不用换站
所以呢这一年半里我都不知去了那多少趟了~哈哈
然后啊,因为得自己去imu 和　nottingham,我才开始学习怎么看地图
尤其是地铁的路线
去了一次就大胆了!哈哈

其实啊.这一次出国的主要原因并不是去nus
而是去搭搭看mrt
结果啊,我成功了!哈哈~想到就开心

我自个儿搭了causeway link 去到kastam,
然后差点上错了巴士,结果因为这样我就排了第一位
那个管巴士的大叔超可爱的
有两个小孩啊,没错的话她们应该是乱丢了垃圾或者是因为咬着口香糖
大叔扮着很凶的样子跟上了巴士
说'nanti ikat tangan ikat kaki haaaa!'
啊他样子明明就很慈祥咯~有点像退了休的警察　:)
一群婆婆找不到queue,去到前面,大叔就睁一只眼闭一只眼
'啊进啦进拉'开路给她们
'heih break the rule~'他接着笑着说

然后去了kranji, 再搭mrt 去到 jurong east,
换道到clementi
拿着早已print出来的mrt路线到处走
借着搭了９６巴士去到nus
那儿那么大,我怎知道在哪里下站
问了巴士uncle就匆匆下了
结果呢,哪知那儿是faculty of engineering,明明就离admission office很远
然后在地图前碰到了邮差
他也不清楚要怎么去,就叫我到前面的巴士站
我去了前面又看不到巴士站,感谢主,派了小天使帮助我
载我到admin office :)

然后我又搭了９５巴士去了mrt
换了站又换了站,就到了orchard
weeeee!!本想逛逛的,却一直想着妈妈的吩咐,说要５点回家
可是肚子又空空的,有点晕晕,就买了一个超级很很很好吃的yogult!
真的很好吃哦!!　:D
我最喜欢orchard的地方是那超级干净,又多镜子,并附有'丰盛'的tissue,设有为马桶消毒的sanitizer,加上那高贵气息的　　　　厕所!　haha
然后就搭mrt回kranji了

再次感谢主,我没花很多钱,回家路上也没塞车
被问路的人也很友善

I had a great day today! :)

Praise The Lord -- A CNY Visit to the Elders

2011-02-07T23:59:00.005+08:00

Praise The Lord!
He is the king of king. the owner of the world!
My results have come out few weeks ago and i was amazed by it.
Stop guessing anymore. I got an A* in mathematics, an A in Chemistry, and a B for Biology.It's superb! How amazing it is!I was so worry about my results, thought that it would be an A*,B and C.But our God is just that great.He never maltreat to those who awe of Him.
Even i had been busying in musical rehearsals and church meetings during the exam period, but God still reign, and grant me this result.I know deeply that by myself, i can never have done this so well.
He asked me to come to Tunku Abdul Rahman College,and here He is.During this one and a half year,there are so many interesting moments and fresh experiences that i've gone through and gained, so much of tears and joy, so much of tiredness and pray.Thanks God for giving me a lovely ending at the end of the period.Thanks God.

Yesterday, some members of my church and i visited the elders.We visited an old folks' home at first as one of the member's grandmother is living at there.We were sitting around a rectangular table with the grandmum.We chat,sang CNY songs together and prayed.I could see so much of envy and admires through the other old folks' eyes.
They were staring at us, it was like hoping for the moment where their children come and he/she the one who will be sitting around that table.
We stood up and shook hand with them, one by one, following with phrases such as '新年快樂,耶穌愛妳'.
I remember i used to visit some old folks' home or individual elder when i was a teen.But it seems that the aged did not like me that much.I felt awkward and discomfort when i tried to talk to them but they returned with nothing.
However, this time is so different.
while i stood at their front and showed my hand, i was surprised by the happiness appeared on their faces! They were so happy! And not only one or two of them have shown the delight face, but almost all of them did.
I was touched that my little movemwnt could bring them a sense of felicity.
My day was lightened by their smile :)
Maybe i've changed during these years,that the old folks are now start to like me~ :p

Missing You

2011-01-11T00:35:00.002+08:00

Miss you, The Mugenis, The CFCs, The Choir, The Musical, The KLCC.

Time past fast.Things are all changing.But my God is still the same, forever He is. :)
I am glad to be an ELS-ian.The teachers are awesome,students are friendly,sometimes.
Still feel hard to mix with them though it's the fifth day of lesson already.
I wish to have the chance to taik together,to chat within the whole class.
Well, this task is still hard i guess.

The one closest with me is Ghaith, an Arabian guy, 24 years old, fair and friendly.
The second is Jamie,who we do talked for a very short while.She sits beside me.
And the third goes to Shaun,a 23 years old guy who stayed at New Zealand and is gonna to go back after the IELTS.He's the first friend i met at ELS.Tall, fair, with a nice and broad smile.I sat beside him during the first day.We seldom talk, but we do smile at each other sometimes.
Next, the 2 siblings who always stick together
and last,the 2 girls who never seperate as well.

Dont judge a person by what u see

2010-12-24T19:28:00.002+08:00

Please, i'm definately not what the one you are thinking now.

A new world is going to begin

2010-11-26T02:46:00.004+08:00

Guess what?
Even i myself also cant understand how could i let go of this feeling so rapidly.
Maybe it's caused by a group of funny guys who accompanied me during those hard times, so i can let go the feeling and slowly,put down everything.
I knew he is with her ex, or this is the another reason,perhaps? So i told myself there is no more hope or chances.

That week was really a hard week.
I thank God for giving me these ppl who surrounded me and make my mind free from thinking of those uneasy nonsenses.They are piak lin, cassandra, siew ru, teck wei, Aaron, Tze Jian, Ivan Ho Yee Man,Sek xi Mun Hong, Wai Hong, Keng Hong, Save, Gai Ji Bong, Kevin, and John!
Lots of funny memories.Lots of joys.
We shared 1 room for 2 nights.Each of us was only needed to pay an average of RM27 for the 2nights!haha
Some of us even went down to the swimming pool to bath since there's only 1 bathroom available.
We planned to spend our whole evening in F__ what what~i've forgotten the name.
However, we were so exciting when making the rice neckhlace, so we extended the time in the temple and reached the beach at around 6pm.

That time, all the playing stuff are closing, we were the last to play the banana boat. The sky was already dark and we were still on the sea.After playing,we went for showering,But the toilet was closed!
So we asked and asked and asked the indian to let us in.Gladly she agreed at last.
My cloth, 'inner beauty' were left in Aaron's car,he didnt drive the car that day.So i borrowed cassandra's cloth.And my 'inner beauty' were wet while we were walking at the night market.
What we did all the time were eating and laughing!
We all have separated at the market,but finally all have gathered and met without any plan, in front of a ice-cream stall!haha! A buy 1 free 1 stall :)

there's part 2, will write it out next time, if i still think of writing them out! GOOD NIGHT!

It's time to say goodbye

2010-11-20T02:29:00.002+08:00

First of all,i would like to thanks to those who always browse my blog consistenly.
I appreciate it.For i know, most of them,i means you who are now reading this,
are one of my friends in KL, right?
Thanks Chui Ting, nah~now i mention you in my this little blog.haha~touched?
thanks for concerning me knowing me through viewing and reading what i've written here.
It's nice to have a loyal reader like you :)

But sometimes i feel weird as i will write some other things like the person i admire or what..its quite shy to let u know,haha.Anyways,i still glad that you are here,always :D

It's time to say goodbye,to my church friends, to my classmates, lecture mates, college mates, choir member, musical performers and committees,canteen uncles and aunties,guards, PV3's guards and stall workers, neighbours, and the one i love.

I once thought there is something between us.I once feel that we are close.But the more i stand close to you, the more i feel we are being apart,and you are still you, there is no place for me to stand.Many times,i saw you,or i should say, i saw you everytime when my hand stop doing other things, except while i was thinking and praying to God lar. God still at my very first place :D. Most of the time i feel like walking towards and talk to you.But everytime i stopped,either you've walked away or i just not brave enough to move.The more frequent i meet you, the more i feel like this is a one-site love.Maybe you've never read my blog.Perhaps there's a girl outside there that you love as what you always mentioned about, which i never meet before.Anyway, i'm still willing to lend you my ears,if you willing to find me. Hey dont think that i'm those kepo type who always comfort others,ask about their thing and say i'll lend my ears to them lor.You're one of those very tiny group that i care like this.Be proud lah please..loll..

Ok lah..nothing much to say.DO MISS ME! hahaha
goodbye. May God bless you, shine upon your path.Pray hard!

离弃？

2010-10-30T03:12:00.001+08:00

不写了
想睡了。

今天其实发生很多有趣的事

很多情绪参杂在一起

没有力气写在这里和大家分享
因为真的很累了

1000

2010-10-26T02:36:00.002+08:00

who's that lucky 1000th?
lol..i guess that should be a russian.
hi there :)

life is like that.nothing is perfect
i'm like standing on a fine rope
In front of me is light.
Back side are all the glorious, awards, tears, and joys
On my right, there is land of grasses,with gentle wind flowing through,birds flying up high and singing,butterflies on flowers.People walking around,they sing, they dance,they live happily.If you look deeper,u'll see some quarrels among people, some are fighting some just choose to ignore.There are couples cherishing all the time,there are friends sitting or standing there waiting for me.

On my left,there,full of emptiness, traps, laziness, wars and burdens.They are frightening.They try to pull me away from the light.
i wonder if both of my sides are pulling me off from the light in front of me.

Luckily,gracefully,there is a big light shine upon me,a lamp inside my heart,which been leading all the time.

Life is messy.In God i trust,i can found the way.And i believe i'm stepping on it now.Though now,i'm again deviated to the left.That's what going on in most nights.
Dont always point your finger toward others.For it is unwise and ugly.Thanks.
I am here, when some people need me. But who else there? when i need some people.

To my lovely brother Wong Soon Jeck

2010-10-19T15:59:00.003+08:00

Oi!!!!!
yea~ know what? i know you are reading my blog!!
lol..see i'm so clever :D
if not you, then that must be Yvonne
haha~i found there is ppl from russia read my blog :)
It's too expensive to sms you
yea i can talk to u here!!
hahas~~
kor kor i miss you sooooooooooooooo much
how are you there?

the main purpose i type this is to ask for your pray
i'm having Alevel right now! this month :(
Unluckily, my wisdom tooth berpura-pura nak come out
make my gum swollen and is like going to have fever
pray for this!! thx!!

Yesterday night,i prayed with my missionary trip's team mates.
Glad and thanks God that we have prayer meeting every week
We share what God has done in us during that week, give thanks
and also share about our needs and pray together
every week, we see different grace from God
we even see how He brings my 2 other team mates and i out from troubles we met in daily life.
During yesterday meeting, we pray for my wisdom tooth,i prayed that it wont affect me untill i come back from Myanmar, and prayed that the swollen part to gone.
Guess what? God listened and answered!! i didn't feel unwell today and the big big swollen meat are now returning back to normal!!yeah!!
Praise God!!! :D

please keep me in your pray ya..
anything u (Jeck , or Yvonne) want me to pray,feel free to tell me lar :D

God bless~! Love you kor kor and Yvonne :)

Give Us Peace

2010-10-15T23:20:00.003+08:00

Dona nobis pacem pacem dona nobis pacem
Give us peace
i love this song
thanks to Alicia for teached us this lovely song

How great it is,you see, the whole choir sing and is thinking of harmonize our voice, through the lyrics,asking for peace in us,a sense of unity and love :)

this song cant get off from my mind.i was singing and is still singing it in my heart.
i love it more after i found its meaning from google.

i always hope to know what i'm singing, what's the meaning,as it would be more precious.i posted a song sang by boys choir in the album Les Choristes, and i asked ppl who saw it to find out its meaning. did u? if yes,i'm glad,as i guess now u'll know my feeling of saying the happiness to sing something or listen something that u liked without knowing the meaning,and after u get to know the meaning,u find it wonderful, more, fall in love with that song.

i had myself a holiday today
which i used to study and do the past year papers for Applied Math
what? i mean my holiday is to study?
yup you're right!
i fill too much of other things in my time table and sadly this result what i suppose to do during those free time,i didn't do.i used them to day dream, to rest.
That's probably because my mind cant stop and calm down to study while all the fun moments,memories keep surround me and popping out in my mind.
So now, i leave myself rest,so that i can sit down and do the math questions.
Thanks God that i did quite some questions and the confidence level finally raise a little bit.

Special thanks to Meng Seng,actually i've merely forgotton that my exam is already that near.thanks :)
special thanks to teck wei and the suddenly appeared wai hong! hahas.
who accompanied me to study so that i'm not alone.
both of them keep persuade (should be encourage) me to study and not going to choir practise.loll

all my dear readers,
if u're a christian, please pray for me ok?
pray for me to do well in those papers.
thanks!!

some how i wish someone to ask me to shout it all loud on a high and broad place.
and i can cry out loud!
but my tears seems refuse to come out.
Thanks God for He is my shelter,and i can always cry out in front if Him.
And He will always comfort me by His word and amazing ways =)

不要怕，只要信

2010-10-13T01:26:00.002+08:00

这时候我只想好好的躲起来
单单见我的耶稣，我的上帝，我的圣灵，我三位一体的神

不知道心里为什么，好像在流泪，好想哭一场

‘不要怕，只要信’这是我的神的应许
我捉着这应许，走下去 :)

morning

2010-10-07T22:42:00.003+08:00

i just woke up from a weird dream
it was about my dad, my mum, my sis,me, fish head mihun with milk and a classmate of mine.little bit funny but was horrible.

erhem
its been a while since my last update
there is actually something great to share with you
1) Praise the Lord for He is almightly
Few days before,maybe a week,a friend of mine suddenly popped out in the chat box.
we were not actually that close,what we did when seeing each other was just giving a smile and saying 'hi'and 'bye'
He asked me to pray for his cousin,who was admitted to hospital
there is some kind of disease in her which could not be healed in human eyes
I promised him and we pray for her everyday
I saw him in facebook yesterday and asked bout her condition
He said he was typing a personal msg to me
After some times, i received a mail
In the mail,he updated me about how she recover from shivering and now, she can even tells jokes and 'scold' people.Though still she need further treatments.
But i believe that dear God is doing something great on her
And He is so amazing that He gave me this chance to involve in as a prayer worrior
And i'm so glad to be given opportunities to work with Him :)
some how i believe that she can be healed completely some day
Praise to Lord the highest!

2)that's bout my lost bible
All in coincidence and i got to know where i lost it
i put my bible on the table of a stall while reading free newspaper like usual as i walked through the stall

I asked the worker if they saw a bible or any book left on the table
They said there was a chinese guy passed by,he read the bible and took it away
I'm glad that it doesn't been thrown away into dustbin or what
Let's pray that God use that bible.And if he is not a christian,he can read the bible and through that,got to know our great big wonderful God! :D

3)It's my pleasure to be chosen as one of the 6 person in singing those parts (a song in Songs Of War/ Patrick of Love)
i'm so happy and glad
thanks :)

4)I have just started to work hard for this coming A2
please pray for me that i can really do well in this revisions and do the best in those papers

THANKS =)

:)

2010-09-29T23:58:00.003+08:00

Hope that you're fine my friend
dont be too stress lah
see, we are here to support and cooperate

i sang the song happily today and never think bout the meaning when i was singing
and i was enjoying as i can sing the higest node!
weeee
hahaha~
proudly my skill has improved :)
thanks Ms Huan Huan ( my church choir techer)

Maybe the stress and pressure on A Level are started to come out in my mind and heart
or perhaps because of the song has filled and is keep flowing in my mind
i found myself easy to get angry now
started from today after i log on to facebook

zeff the pity one
he is always there when i get angry
and he is the one i always scolded when i am moody
i found him really a good friend of mine
who never scold me back nor suddenly disappear
instead he always ask me anything to pray
thankyou zeff.and i believe that praying is the best way of solution
thank you.
And i know you never read my blog!!! so bad!!!
nevermind.i'll thank you next time when i meet you :)

oops back to my friend
will keep you in praying, as this is the best way of solution=)

A tiring day

2010-09-28T22:41:00.002+08:00

it's a super packed day
i'm tired
eyes are closing

lots of things happened today
my dear friend hurt my another dear friend
and i love both of them
they are so cute.Just like little children
but they seems to never be friend anymore
and i do not know what to do

as usual, we played badminton in GK Court
i'm glad that many of my classmates are sports lover
so i get influenced and get to play sports with them together
its fun

many of them go clubing, go cc, but we go for sport:)
that's good and i love it

as usual,we warmed up our voices and started to learn new song
i was supper unhappy while singing that song
so do lucas,one of my dear friend
he seems hate that song so much
haha
i was always thiking of the satanic thing
there's a sentence' i wish i never been born'
oh no!
in 约伯记，it means curse his own birthday
i never open my mouth for that page
while ppl singing.i looked to them
i saw florance,she is a christian.and she dont know the satanic thing
seeing her sang that sentence happily,my heart started pain
it was like they dont know what are they doing
and i was like crying

so i stop singing

same thing happened to my another dear friend
she felt unwell

i told joseph about my problem and asked if possible to change that song
He then used lots of examples to explain and claimed that this Queen is not satanic

i dont know
i'm trying to believe
trying to open my mouth and sing
but still i dont feel peace singing that song
am i thinking too much? or there is really something
i really dont know what to do
need to pray first and ask my dear God

But i'm happy with the idea he said
that one which Jesus come after ppl united :)

sorry if i bring troubles to you
i'm trying to believe
and try to not singing for myself.so the the 'I' is not me

hey i do really appreciate my life and do not think of never been born lor

whatever,thanks =)

nan nan nan

2010-09-26T20:52:00.002+08:00

yepee!!!!!!!
currently my phone have some problem and i'm thinking of buying a new one.
i did some research but that's helpless as i actually know nothing bout phone and all those electronic stuff
So i left all these troublesome things aside and just dont think about it and pretends nothing goes wrong with my phone

Just now i received a missed call from mum so i called back
guess what??
She told me that my aunt bought a new phone, and SHE IS GONNA TO GIVE HER I PHONE TO ME!!!! Whoooaaaaa :D
GOOD GOOD GOOD
i'm so surprised
thanks God!! muaks =D
yeah yeah yeah!!hahahahaha

i am having heavy flu right now.
from morning bath until now
oh no!that is bad
i'm so feeling discomfort
so i desided to skip my church choir pracice
we gonna to sing locus iste this coming Sunday but we didn't really sing well last week

But our amazing God looks for heart,faith and honesty
He dont really care about how beautiful the melody is.
i believe that He loves all kind of voices
no matter the beautiful one or those which never get in tune
so we shall not only chase for the wonderful of voices
but more important the heart and mind when one is singing

The problem never been taken from my mind since the day i knew this song Bohemian Rhapsody
that day i was telling my brother about the musical
so played the song which i got from You Tube
we was listening together.On the beginning, he asked why the melody and lyrics are so pessimistic.so i expained that we are going to present the war time btwnTanah Melayu and Japan.'Ohh'he said
We still listening
towards the end,the lyrics became more and more oddly
until the word appeared
'wow!'he said
i find that word familiar at first
then only i recall back,that the name was appeared in bible
means king of devils (direct translete from mandarin)
i was totally shocked
what??!
So i started to find the song through google
there is no actual meaning of the song
some said he wrote this because he is gay
some said other
a lot of them were impressed by this songs

but i am totally different to those
my heart tells me that the meaning is more side to the other critics i've found
that's some kind of satanic song

once more, i was shocked!
And i really dont want to sing it
my voice is granted from God, The Lord Jesus.
with the help of Holy Spirit
i told God that i want to offer up my voice to Him
and my voice will only be singing for Him
still sometimes i sing other songs lah

but never will i sing for It,the liar
Dont sing for the liar
you are not its servant
you're God's precious child

if possible,can we dont sing that song?
i means the whole song
i really dont want to stand on its side
my voice is belongs to God
so do yours

or else i'll leave
i'm serious
i can stand still even though my time table is full
i can stand still even if the practices and rehearsals clashed with A level exam
this time really clashed
i can stand still even untill now,i havent really prepared for the exam on 18th Oct
which is 4 weeks from now
but i will not be standing at here.if u want me to sing for the liar

it is a serious thing
you know this world
you know the war between spirits

remember,our voice is to glorify our God

hah!
back to life
my daily problem arised and i was still struggling in deciding what to eat fordinner
i opened my cupboard and found a korea bei bei mian
that's some kind of maggi mee in cup
u can just put boiled water into it and wait

i was eating sambil replying msg to scott on facebook
suddenly i recall back to my secondary school hours
to times when i was form 1 to form 3
we were librarian. We have duty once a week
everytime,after duty, our whole gang (only 3-5)will walk to the petrol station which about 1km from school.
it called 'project'but the thing is now bankrupted and has changed to Shell petro station.
we will buy beibei mian.hot water wasprovided and there was chairs and tables for us to sit.
that time we all feel happy and precious when we were eating maggi
But now,even if much more tasty, cute, big beibei mian has arised
but i wont feel happy anymore
i miss my mum's cooking :(

it is glad that i starts to love vegetables now
haha!

Heavy rain

2010-09-19T01:29:00.002+08:00

The rain is sheeting down
it seems many of them been touched by this rain

Good night :)

One day

2010-09-18T13:59:00.004+08:00

hua yan must gong mandarin na~
:)

会有一天
我跟我的男友到古城去
细细的欣赏每一个角落
他和我一样
喜欢观察四周
喜欢欣赏神的创造物
喜欢察看世界的每一个自然物
喜欢把它们都拍下来
日后欣赏，也给自己个成就感

那一天
他会拿着一本导游历史书
我们一边走，他一边说着故事
我们深深的进入与体会历史

我们会留意在旁边摆档的人
与他们聊天
买下一些喜欢的东西
如刻有自己名字的项链

他的方向感很好
所以我不需要背任何地铁路线（在国外）
在这里，他知道回到酒店的路线
所以我可以无忧无虑的走来走去
没有顾虑的去每一个角落

我们会特地留到星期天
手牵着手一起进到christ church 敬拜
以喜乐的心感恩

我们会一起吃鸡贩团
哦~那是我的最爱之一
超可爱与特别的鸡贩团

我们会寻找小娘惹拍摄的那个屋子
那间屋子，在我记忆里
深深的烙印
在我小的时候，我曾进过
一直到看了小娘惹，我又看见了记忆里那粹粹的图片

我们会选择没有音乐的三轮车
他的司机是年迈的老伯

我们会参观博物馆
当我看那些解释看得很累时
他会做我的翻译员

到每一个美美的角落，
我们都会拍一张照片

哈哈~
我喜欢 <3

希望这一天可以到来
:)

Set it free

2010-09-18T01:35:00.002+08:00

Set my mind free
let it be
let it go

following Jesus
only Abba Father, only Jesus, only dearest Holy Spirit
only God

Sleep! :)

Thank you

2010-09-17T01:42:00.001+08:00

aligato kozaimasu
thank you and good night

i'm thinking of changing my blog's layout.
:D

life

2010-09-08T14:14:00.005+08:00

Guess what?
i got free item again!
this time is a free domino pizza voucher from a delivery stuff

Few days ago...
while i was entering PV3,the stuff opened the glass door for me.
So i smiled and said 'thank you !'
By chance,we entered to the same level.
He couldn't found the address, so i brought him and leaded him.
When we arrived, he said he got something to give me and took out a voucher from his wallet with 'Sorry We were late' printed above, and taught me how to order the free pizza.
i was so happy to receive that
Then, he asked for my phone number.
'huh?'i said
'oh, kalau next time awak nak order boleh telefon saya'he answered
i dont know what's going wrong with my mind! i gave him unexpectedly
that was crazy! and his reason is weird.
why do he need my number if i want to order? isn't it i the one shall know his number? some more i can straight call the delivery number what?
apalah ini
i should be crazy that time
==

i kept thinking of this while walking back to my unit
And i felt guity for my greediness
So i passed that voucher to my sister..
haha..so bad lah XD

These days,
Something has happened to me,which made my heart down
my trial for A level is coming
that's next week ,right after the stupid holidays
But i just cant keep myself to sit down and study
just cant stop thinking of other things
i know the reason why i always sit in front of the computer
that is stupid.

Second,
there is something happened to my family
i can do nothing besides praying
fears in me,worries are in me

third,something has actually happened to my church in JB
i'm sad

ppl are really sinful

But!Listen.Luckily, i have God who always beside me
luckily we have Jesus, who washed all of our sin
Thanks God :)
that i wont be afraid
As i know, no matter what,no matter how big it is,
You can clean
You can cure.
Life is in You ,water is in you :)

i love you Jesus

facebook,blogspot.The Virtual World

2010-08-31T01:36:00.000+08:00

I'm always wondering if Facebook and Blogspot are good places and the appropriate way to communicate.

Through these,i got to know some of my friends deeper.For example through the photos, all the comments the person left,or the articles he wrote.It is true.Some relationships really built up by these misted interactions.

But,as i said,back to the root,all of these so call relationshihps are actually dazed.You'll only get to know what the person WANT you to know about himself and you might never see the truth.The one you think you love maybe is just a machine, or a robot.

Second,everything written are always too general.You are making guess in every sentences you read.Is he/she means this? Is this the main purpose of the article? Am i the one the writer is referring to? And the thing is you'll never get the answer.Everything you get in your mind are just based on your own imagiantion and concept.They might not be true.At the end, this results you who only live in your own imagination.You may thought and believe that there is a rope between u and the person.But there may be actually nothing and no even any linkage between.

I always hope to know some friends of mine by talking face-to-face,by eating together,doing works together,pray together and through all the real works.So that the relation is true and is built on the cornerstone.

As facebook arise, ppl are more likely to build their own Tower of Babel.They wanted a world without border,they wanted to control what they want,a very good and solid example-- privacy.
God then seperated them into different races with different mother tongue.Remember, to God, construction of the Tower of Babel is not good.
I really hope that you don't fall into the trapped.Can u see the great problems in this world?Please dont depand too much on facebook.Stop making facebook as the stone where your relationship with friends built on.Stop trying to control your privacy.Just leave everthing to Him my dear friend.

Sometimes blogspot is good.Like now,i can tell u what i think is very important.And i really hope that u wont be one of the blind and missing sheep.
I hope you'll read this someday.
You see, dear readers, you'll never know the 'you' i am refering to.
this makes everything confused.
Therefore,safe yourself from this misty situation starts from today.Dont depands on blogspot.
By blogspot or facebook, you're like building the relationship on the sand of a beach.No matter how hard you used to build this,it will be all useless, once the wind blow, once the wave come.

My dear readers,i'm glad that u are reading this, i hope that you will open your eyes and see the golden of true relationship.Treasure it.Value it.Why not just back to the very ancient style of communicating.Face-to-face.and to me, this is the only way and the most effective way.Maybe it will be the hardest way for some of us,yet, everyone of us have to learn it.Interaction between human is one of the most precious thing in this world.Dont made your Avatar anymore, live it YOURSELVES.I believe that this will be the easiet way of communication,once you no longer afraid to talk to people and let them see all our expression during the chat.this method arise since the world has begun,Adam talk to Eve.He didn't text or type to her.

i dont know what title to put

2010-08-29T00:39:00.000+08:00

'never believe to those who are very handsome.'this is what he told me.
i'll think about it..thx bro :D

''Dont think too much la~after all you'll get hurt''
ya,,i think so.
because the same thing happened before
i'm quite some type of perasan
lol..

i'm leaving for KLIA..will buy some chocolates!!

:D

kuih lapis

2010-08-28T03:10:00.000+08:00

i have had a very substantial Friday,which is fully packed.
i didn't sleep for long last night.As usual, i will take some times today to sleep, so as to replace back yesterday's sleeping time .
my class started on 9am and ended at 2pm.After having lunch with miss piak lin, i went to library to check my email for the pray lists,which i must collect them from the committees and pass it to lishan today,so that she can type it out and prints on the paper before Sunday.

i was thinking of having a half-hour nap before going to pure math's replacement lectural at 3pm to 4pm.

However,the sweet plan gone after i found there a list which need to be translated into mandarin.Time passes like the speed of light.After doing this half way,i rush to DK1 for the replacement lectural .Unfortunately,there were only around 5 ppl attended.All girls.SEE, female are always the rajin-er~haha..Miss Piak Lin sangat tak rajin.dialah example of bad student.lol..bad bad bad,i asked her so many time not to skip still she skipped!Shao wen the another,who went to Mid Valley.Teck wei even worser,who doesn't even came to college but choose to sing K with mei wei.
haiyaya.......

1 hour after,i went back to the library again and continued my translation.I used hours to translate it.quite long i know..but i enjoy doing that.

After i've done and sent everything out,i suddenly felt moody and thought of going home.
so i went back to my little room and fall asleep.one hour later,i woke up and went to the prayer meeting.it ended around 10.30pm.i was tired,but still i followed eric them to yam cha at Downtown.The waiters are cute and friendly.they gave us free orange juice and whole pack of tissue,and asked me to come again tomorrow.haha~
i'm so happy that during these days,i've been receiving free items from the stuffs. Foe example free drink from Subway, free bread from Cake Sense, discounted roti jon from Ramadan and so on.
We chatted until 1.45pm.
I was very tired .
The time i reached home,my housemate's cell group haven leave, they were still plying games.They asked me to join, so i joined.
we played Mafia.
it was fun.
We gave Andrea a big surprise as the game was going on.We are supposed to close our eyes while waiting the killer to kill ppl,the doctor to heal and the spy to catch.i was wondering why the spy took so long time to point the ppl until i was touched and told to stand up suddenly.A person then brought in a blueberry cake with candles,Andrea was still closing her eyes,alone.we then sang a birthday song to her and she was shocked.:)
After all, i entered my room and opened facebook.I found that, my tiredness have disappeared totally,so i type this article out.blah blah blah~~Good night :)

ending

2010-08-25T00:20:00.000+08:00

lol
no more. This is the last time.i wish i could stand on.
hmm.yes i can :)

wake up wake up!
Dont let the same awkward happen second time
quick quick finish A level!!
i need a deep breath and deep rest!but i hope the day wont be coming so rapidly.
As i'll miss u all T.T
I'll miss everything here

have u noticed that?
the moon tonight is super bright and round,set-off by the clear dark blue sky :D

Axtivo

2010-08-24T00:22:00.000+08:00

i met wei jian and wei kang in facebook just now.
They are still the same..The only difference is they are no longer a high school student.
I enjoyed chatting with them.They have their own way to make ppl laugh.
They make me smile through listening to their conversation,as what they always did in Axtivo.

While i was waiting and waiting,i simply clicked here and clicked there.i found my old blog,so i clicked in and read through some most recent articles.One of them was written on the day i decided to leave Axtivo.I wrote a super long article,inside it was all about pieces of my memories during the 4 months in axtivo.

i'm so glad to have written them out.otherwise i might have forgotten these sweet memories.I dont wanna to forget any of them.They were my family.

When i look back to my life in Axtivo,i find myselves have changed.No longer that hardworking, no longer that innocent.I do really put in 99.999% of my heart in doing every thing in that little cafe.

i wont let a single oil stamp lay on the glass door.I measured and counted the square every morning to make sure the tables and chairs are all in the right place and angle.i swept and mop the floor as clean as i could,and washed the mop until it became white again.i arranged all the utensils nicely ,packed them neatly.i even put every chopstick in the same order when i was too free.i learnt from zero, tried to serve every customers,try to talk to them or apologize if something careless have made.i treated them super nice.Once a while, i even asked the kitchen for some sambal sause which is never given to customer when the customer asked for that as if she really hope to have some sambal.The chef then gave me a big spoon of sambal,which was only used in cooking purposes.:D
Even though i made myself physically so tired everytime,but my heart was always happy and satisfied,as i love this cafe.

Maybe because this is my first job,therefore i put all my heart in.Wei jian and Wei kang are 2 of the good examples of ppl who was teaching me to shirk.haha~
I'm glad to get in myself in this cafe.Thanks God for giving me this job.
And all of us were like a family-the supervisor,chef,bar,waiter and sometimes even the manager:D

i miss you all T.T

break down

2010-08-18T01:23:00.000+08:00

i was quite happy today.
i met heng jin and jing zong in the library, and met with my lovely choir group in canteen 2 foyer.We chit-chatted for an hour. At once,we decided to makan in wangsa maju.Coincidentally, i met heng jin and jing zhong again at the store,so we talked for a while.

i was happy as this evening wasn't quiet and lonely as what it usually be.i enjoy having dinner with my dear friends in Yellow House.As we going to leave that place,we met meng seng and Agnes again.We then chatted some minutes under the fine rain.

After that, i walked to the LRT station,and took a metrobus back to college.On the way to the station,i met li wen and we said a hi and bye.When i was finding empty place in the bus,someone called me.Oh, my friend(i've forgotten her name)was sitting behind.:D

i wait for the MU bus for 45minutes in college bus stop.during that time, i met weisherng and yek pheng.

What a fortuitous day.

my day wasn't only lightened by all those ppl i met in coincidence,but also the nature created by God.
During the 45minutes,there was an instant where the wind blows so strong,which make me cool and i enjoyed the cool wind very much.On the way walking from MU bus stop to PV3, i looked up to the sky.And i found a clear bright moon along with some bright stars in the freashy dark blue sky.
i love all of them.

things were all going nicely after i dropped my bag on my table.As usual,i entered to the toilet, washed my hands and feet.Sudddenly something appeared in my mind. OH! My testimonial!! i opened my bag quickly to look for it.'where is it?not here?'i remembered that i was holding the few pages paper before we say bye bye to meng seng and agnes.and i put the thing into my bag on the way to LRT station.
i find it again.once,twice and i looked for it pages by pages as i thought the papers might have crossed into those books.
But still, i couldn't get it.

i wonder why i broke down at that moment.
a lot of negative thought appeared in my mind.

i was actually very uneasy with what i've encountered throughout this one and a half years.Many things that were impossible to happen during childhood and pubercent break out now,all in a sudden.First, i lose my scolarship.but luckily i got it back after the appeal.Then,i went to the wrong session during the REAL A'Level exam.i was crying like mad in those situations.But still i believe that God has His own wonderful way,just that i couldn't see now.And next, the result came out.i got my 1st D in formal examination,and cambridge doesn't accept my paper.
all these things are like a knife,stabs me deeper and deeper.i'm losing substance by substance which i hold them tight initially,and will never think about losing them. And still, i never questions God's way.

Until once again i lose.i have to pass the testimonial up tomorrow morning.and how could i find those lecturers again to get all the signatures in this super short period?Some of them are very hard to find.

At that moment,i started to throw my books hard on the table and walked to the window,looked to the sky where i usually do when i was thinking about God.i started to cry and blame God.i questioned why all these thing suddenly happened in a time.
Are You enjoy looking me to suffer? is it really all things are in Your plan? if it is, why do You let this happen again and again?
and i get angry with God.i cried hard.A voice in my heart told me that God is lying.
God has told me before that He will never leave me.because of that,i always hand up my eveything to Him.and i rely fully in Him.
The stupid voice told me that He is lying.He left you already it said.He abondoned you.
So i cried in pain and anger.i cried hard.i asked God,when will You stop ignoring me?

but in my deep heart, i always know that God is there.i always believe that He wont leave me,never he does.i always trust His way in faith.and i know everything is in Him.
So i sat down on my tilam and continue crying.
i begged for His forgiveness.for my anger to Him.
and i falled asleep because of too tired after crying so hard.

When i wake up, it was already after 12am.
again,another night walking in hover,struggling to tell myself to sleep now.

we cant keep things for a long time.
accumulation of those will results in break down some day.
But to me, it is fine to break down sometimes.As long as u get into the right path,choose the correct way right after the fall.
Faith in God is important.It helps me to found Him :)
Just be yourself,no one shall be a clown.There is no such philosophy of pretending to be good man.Just be a good man.there is nothing to pretend.
if you find something wrong or unpleasant,just throw away that character.maybe it is hard,but you can do it,if you have Jesus in you.
to me, no one is truly good.ppl always changing and delete the bad characters throughout life.this is what growing meant.and with Jesus,we are all in the phase of growing.
it's 3am.shall i go.nice dream :)

food :D

2010-08-14T23:32:00.000+08:00

If you had asked me one year before, what kind of food do i like the most?
i would have probably answered 'hmm..spegati, steak, roast duck, oat prawn and many more
but now, if you ask me the same question again
i will say one - homely food
i love to eat home-cooked rice, vegetable and meat
i love them so much!! :D

I am glad to have such a thoughtful housemate, Lysa
Her endowment in cooking make u love her more.
last year,once a while i was busy in studying for exams,
that time i dont even have extra seconds to cook or buy dinner downstairs
She saw that.then she cooked a super nice dry tomyam mihun for me.
i was really touched

one year after, she cooked for me again!!
hahaha
i was so happy
today, her friends all gathered in my unit and they had a potluck here
she then kept some and bring them to my room
wow!! i tell u
the soup and all things are marvelous!!!
it has been a long time i didn't eat homely dinner
although i was eating alone in my room,
but still i feel bliss
thank you lysa!! ;D
i'll miss your food after i graduate
and i think i won't forget your mihun and your tang shui today! :D

My future husband must know how to cook!!
haha~
and cook the delicious one.. yeppeeeeeeeee :DD
i can wash all the plates for him everyday i dont mind :)

how great will it be, if there is somebody cook for me and we having dinner together everyday.

UNGRADED

2010-08-12T21:29:00.000+08:00

Ungraded.i hate this word.

i'm sad.
but i'm fine..i think.

i've never got a C and below in all formal examinations.
this is the first time i failed.
i was quite shocked
but this annoying thing doesn't really annoyed me.

it was all covered by another bom in my life.

the subject i failed is gp (Genaral Paper)
actually,that is not an important paper at all.
you can drop it if u want.and i was just sitting the paper for fun.
hehe :D

the weird part is , the whole roll of us are failed.
all of us with our sure name starts from letter t,s,w and so on.
maybe some of you,as you are reading this,u'll say that i'm finding excuses,
i'm always ego, or my english is really bad,it is nature that i got a U or u think i still don't realise how high the cambridge's standard is.

and i tell u , honostly,yes,i'm.i'm giving myself an excuse that maybe our roll was unlucky, have unfortunately met crazy examiner,or our papers were missing,they thought we handed up nothing blah blah blah
but can u just don't do this?how if u are in one of us?
will u accept that u don't even deserve an E, even if u have tried so hard in writing those essays, and both of your essays are not short,and you believe that the points are there.
will u still keep quiet when u realised the strange that the whole last roll are all failed together?

well,i am sad because of my biology..
i got a D
it is all my fault.
i myself never check the time properly
i never took it seriously while the head was asking us again and again to check the time ourselves.
so i went to the wrong session, and missed the qurantine time
and cambridge refuse to accept tant paper

how keen i am,that all of this is just a dream.and when i wake up,everything will be fine.but it isn't.i've pinched myself and that was pain.

i'm glad to have some friends beside me..
first, kah chiin.
thank you my dear,i love u so much.
she always be there when i am sad.
i'll never forgot that time,when i was emo-ing,without any consideration,u drove to my house and brought me to eat a very cheap but nice cendol. u chatted with me until i forgot all those unhappy things.and we scolded those bad guy together.
today,i was really really sad.
not really lah actually.
perhaps in the deepest place of my heart,i'm not afraid at all. as i know there is a great big God who always stay beside me.
she then immediately called my number and encouraged me.thank you thank you very much.
i would be more sad if u were not there.

the 2nd is shao wen
i'm glad that she got 3As.
she is the first who phoned me and asked about my result.

3rd, Miss PIAK LIN!!
she then phoned me and we chit chat for a while.
of course,i want to thank my mum also..
she didn't scold me and instead console me with her warm and gentle voice.
and when i asked her about the musical, she didn't angry and ask me to withdraw as what she did .this time,she said she'll leave the desicion to me.and she promised that she'll always pray for me.
even if my mum didn't promise,i know that she does pray for me everyday.
she never stop praying for me in every exams.she is a great mum!!

thank you.all of your calls do meant to me.thank you for teman me in walking through that miserable hour.

i was trapped in tears until i found my BIG BIG God.
there is no one who can really heal me except Jesus
as i was praying,i recall of what have Jesus done
the song we sang in church choir was appeared in my mind
于是我想到耶稣我的主
他为我死在十架
我如何能不信他
耶稣他永远不失信耶稣他永远不误事
既然我知他不误事
我要全心全意相信他相信他相信他
yes.Jesus has died for us on the cross
for what do i afaid of?
what i'm facing is just a little small thing
and He will never bungle matters nor He breaks His word :)
so i sat down on my tilam and started to cry and pray.
and He healed me.

thank you Lord, for wiping my tears again
thank you Lord, for being my source of Joy :D

i wasn't doing that bad in this As ( 1st part of A Level)
guess what?
i got 2 As!!! hahaha
A in math and chemistry
i'm quite proud of myself
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ：D

GOOD JOB GIRL!!

i was excited when listening to the story line of the musical
and was trying to imagine the scenes.
and i told myself to accept the challege for the song' one day more'
everything is so exciting
as if i'm going to spend my rest time in tarc in this musical
but..can i really do these?
back to the point,i'm not a superwoman
one of the major reason i decided to join is that i love singing
and i found it fun

imagine
when the musical is over.
everything may back to normal as what we are doing now
maybe some of them will be porpular after that
perhaps your friend list may added with few more friends
and this musical will forever be a sweet memory to me

but when the A Level exam is over
everything won't come back.
it draws your future
imagine that
after i graduate
and 3months later
we return to the college to get our results
everyone cheering and having parties to celebrate
and if i fail again
i'll be crying alone
and that time.it is really over.

so you think what should i do?

Amazing Grace

2010-08-10T22:58:00.000+08:00

God is amazing
HE LOVES His every child.
He changes a person. from arrogant to humble
from dull to bright
:D

23hours more,
i was scared and worried.eeven now i feel like crying.
but i am not worrying anymore.
for i know,
i have God.He is almighty .everything is in Him
and this great big God is my dear Father.

even if cambridge doesn't accept my paper,
i know everything is in His hand.
and i believe
even though things are unfortunate in our eyes,
but God's way is always higher than us
His wisdom is the one we could never reach.
in Him, He will made the way .
and the way he made for me is always the best way.
this is what i trust.

choices

2010-08-07T14:14:00.000+08:00

they are enjoying the weekend in Port Dickson
while i'm alone in the condo.ironing my clothes and lab coat,staring at my yellow laptop,reading the comments on facebook,ignoring those weird strangers( i used to be friendly to all of them,until i found their disgusting intention )==
i've never been there.i means PD
perhaps i had when i was a baby, or still a very young 2-year-old child.Basically, all my memories came only after i was 3 years old.
and i love beaches.that was the first nature that i fall in love with.following that is the white cloud blue sky and then the moon and stars.

things always go on like that.you cant hope to do all the desire things at one time.it is all depanding on what u choose and which u think is the most important one.
Always,i'll choose God.
the only reason why i reject the invitation is that i dont want to miss any Sunday classes.i don't want to miss any Sunday worship.i believe that it is a blessing from God and also a wonderful time, a wonderful chance to worship our big big God together with all the brothers and sisters.and i love it.i love it so much.

hey i got to go now..going to church for the youth fellowship..

will be back and continue later, if mood come and say hi:D

The champions

2010-07-19T23:14:00.000+08:00

i'm so proud of my sister, Vanessa who got champion in world choir competition which was held in China this few days.According to mum, the competition was participated by around 80 choirs from all over the world.

i attended to the Ladies Choir's concert twice.that was really nice and awesome.i've never think about my sister to be one of the world's best choir member.when they were announced as the champion, our Malaysia anthem was played proudly.together,they sang the song as loudly as it could be, i think.
i believe that it must be a super proud moment.when i was young,i means was still a children and teen, i was always dreaming of standing on the middle stage,let our national anthem playing because of my achievement something like that. that thought actually came out after i watched Olympic through Astro,i wondered why Malaysia's Negaraku never be sung.

Don't worry, i still love Malaysia :) i am one who love all her belongings.

sometimes i'll lost faith in myself.perhaps i thought i'm not good enough compared to the other siblings.

my brother, jeck, is one of the top scorer in Kursk, the Russia medical university he currently studying in.He is among the most active christian in the church,and has been participating in some evangelism to other countries such as South Africa.

For my sister, what about her achivement i've told you on the top.Apart from that, she was chosen as the model student of Malaysian Institute of Art.Besides, she has a lot of great performing chances,one of those i admired the most was the performance with the MPO( Malaysia philharmonic ochestra).

Both of my lovely brother are sister are outstanding not only in academic but in other activities as well.But me?

at least in academic, i was the best amongst.was..
i scored the most A's in UPSR,PMR and SPM

but now?
hey, i failed in this chemistry test, with only 30 marks.
honestly,i even dont dare to tell my mum this.

She always thought that i'm a superwoman, who scores all A in every subjects.
but hey, i'm not..
i know all my good results in all those formal examination was given and granted by God.
Perhaps i do have a little smarter,but i'm not that good as who u always thinking of.
Until one day, the college sent my result home.i was doing really badly in that exam. that was 2 C's and 2E's. She was shocked.and had almost lost faith in me totally.
She didn't border to listen my explanation.
i'm sure that to her, i might not be able to graduate with even an A.

you know,this is sad.

i've tried so many times to tell her that to me it is sad that my mum doesn't look up to me.
perhaps she heard,but she never listened.

arrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

typing typing suddently come out all this unhappy thoughts.

even though,
i still believe that God trust me
i believe that something big out there is prepared by Him, for me to done
there is a long way waiting for me to walk on, to experience my God

I always believe that my life will be different as well as full of a lot of unpredictable but wonderful things.
because i'm chosen by Him. because i'm His lovely daughter.
Still, He never leave me alone nor trapped me in disaster.
you see, i'm still always the lucky one.

i cant imagine how my life would be without God Father, Jesus and the lovely Holy Spirit.
but i shall never worry about this, for i know, he has promised to never leave me as what already written in bible.

i love you God :)i love You so much.You are my all in all :D

evolution

2010-07-10T20:09:00.000+08:00

i'm wondering if i'm the one who had changed.
or in the other way, they are just showing the true person they are as time goes on.

if possible, i would like to have an invisible and automatic camera,which will follow me all the time and records everything down.so that when i replay the flim, i can watch my life as an outsider,and so i might be able to know who i actually am.

swimming

2010-06-08T23:25:00.000+08:00

i love swimming :D

i still remember that, when i was still a primary school student,
my mum used to bring my brother, my sister and i , and some family friends ( Vena,weiyang, wei sheng or sometimes kairen )to Pulai Spring every Friday evening.
We swam until night, and my mum would always brings along few boxes of gardinier white bread with sardin or tuna.i loved to eat those with chili tuna.

We would go for jacuzzi,sauna and steam room.it wasn't much enjoyable in the sauna and steam room.i breathed hardly inside.However,everytimes, my mum and the aunties, and also my friends were seem like love to enter the rooms so much,so i always joined them and was instead enjoying in the gossips among aunties.

After bath, the girls group would go upstairs to the gym room for a cup of cold plain water.the cups are triangular and are made by paper, i loved to hold it.it's so special.We used to measure our weight after that,and was always trying hard to use the machine for measuring our height.but we failed everytime. even now, when i went back to the resort during last semester break, i still coundn't find out how to use the machine to measure my height.

i went for swimming just now at PV3, the condo where i'm staying in
it was around 9.30pm, half hour more for the pool to be closed.
i went to swim at around 10pm few months before, at that time, the lights were off and it was dark inside.

when i swam that time, i was thinking of my mum's ghost story.it is something about ghost under water in swimming pool. As a swam , i felt horror as i coundn't see things 100cm further from me.it was really frightened.i afraid that when my head imersed inside to the water, a ghost will suddenly appear infront of my eyes.
i couldn't swim anymore.so i prayed.i prayed that some ppl would come down and accompany me.you know what.few minutes later, a guy came.i was so happy. when he walk closer,i could recognize that he is one of the guards.so he said' ei, tak boleh renang lah, close already!!'he asked me to leave there quikly.so i go out embarassely.that moment only i knew that we cannot swim after 10pm. == that's why the lights were all off.

okay okay,come back.
i swim swim swim. swimming happily.
suddenly, an indian or bangladesh uncle came and said that i'm very good in swimming!
haha~i was so happy.
then he asked me to compete with him.so i accepted the challenge.
i lose in the 1st round, for 1 or 2 sec.
then we compete again.yeah!!! i won this time!! for abot 4 seconds!!haha~i'm so proud of myself~~nenenepupu :D
he said he stays in block A and his name is Katil, Kathik~something like that..

wanna compete with me?? hiek hiek hiek :DD
haha~he is so cute :)

圣餐

2010-06-06T22:29:00.000+08:00

原来圣餐的意义是那么的深重

那是一个看得到的祝福
是一个看得到的恩典
当我们吃圣餐时
就是把从神而来的祝福吃进去
是凭着信心领受

今早还蛮愧疚的
昨晚明明知道今天要去礼拜堂
又是圣餐主日
却还是迟迟睡
结果呢。。今天传道讲道时我都快睡下去了
就连领圣餐，祷告时
也是半睡的状态
真是对不起神。。
sorry

在吃饼前，我祷告，求神让我与一位姐妹和好
在喝‘杯’前，我祷告。求神藉着饼和杯，让我与神自己和好
让我本乡的教会合一

很感谢神，我凭着信心领受了

我的生活有很多圈子
总的来说共有4个
家人，学校，教会，神

我不明白
为何总是不能4个同一时间顺利
和家人和好后，与同学出现小问题，没事了。日子不长，和教会的弟兄姐妹就出现了缝隙
我得好好的回到神面前
因为凡是交托与祷告是最好的行动
没有神的参与我与人之间的关系不可能完全契合
没有神的同在我的生活不能充满真喜乐

最近阿
好好笑
我会不时想想我未来的男朋友
想象与他同在的时候
聊天的时候

为什么青少年一定要总想着谈恋爱
岂不知真正能陪到永恒的那一位是需要时间来认识与爱的吗？

record

2010-06-04T22:11:00.000+08:00

hoh~cant tahan..feel like going to vormit
fluid inside my head is rotating..
i feel so faint

after the exam, my sleeping time is totally skrewed up
this make me suffer
i lost my appetite and health
pimples are exciting to say hello to me

i slept for almost 16 hours yesterday
few more minutes to break my record
i used to sleep that long when i was form 2/3
and i felt proud at that time
but i didn't for now
because it makes me dizzy and sick

still, there is something good to share
i still remember that
in my dream, i dreamed of my future boyfriend
haha!!
he looks nice, but not very handsome
another thing i remember is his smooth palm
he lay on my thigh,and i sayang his head..
just that.. other scenes i've forgotten

it was a sweet dream anyway :D

oh

2010-04-12T01:17:00.000+08:00

ho
feeling tired
it's 1.17am and yet i haven sleep
do u want to know what is the reason?
it is just because i'm so lazy to brush my teeth
oh~
i'm so tired

can i just lay on the bed and sleep without brush my teeth n wash my face?
can i can i??
hho~
so tired

oh~there is a good thing to share
yeah~ i pass the interview
and am going to north myanmar this year-end after A level exam
thanks God =D

finally i joined the church choir today
haiz
that was so bad
i think i've never sing in front of other ppl badly like this b4
broken voice in high tune
keras like a stone
haiz~what to do?
after the almost 5 months of isolation from warming up my voice
this is what i became
but still i'm happy
at least i got improve till the end of the practise
thx God again

this is also the first time i felt so hard to sing
whatever

i still love to sing in choir =D
ESPECIALLY church choir

短宣

2010-03-28T18:36:00.000+08:00

这一个12月，
我可能会到缅北去
不是去旅游
而是去短宣

我觉得那比旅游更棒
他的意义深远超过后者

很期待
短宣会是怎样的一个过程
我将会遇见什么事我将会认识那些人

很开心我有这个机会走上佳美脚踪的道路
很喜乐我有这个福气跟着各各他的脚步

很幸福因为我认识了耶稣
很平安因为万军之耶和华是我的父

我知道将来我会去到哪个地方
过着完全倚靠主的生活
那里充满荆棘充满争战
不过我也相信那将是我最平安最喜乐最满足的地方
因为保护我的必不打盹
因为保护我的是耶和华
就像彼得那一天以信心踏出了船
走在有耶稣同在的海面上

我不知道以后的日子会如何
不过我真想体会到
用自己的生命，去让别人得着永生的感觉是如何

我的神我的上帝
是我的阿爸天父，是慈爱的爸爸，是荣耀的君王
他是我的好朋友，在我伤心时，他亲自安慰我
在我软弱时，他亲手扶起我
在我生病时，他医治了我
在我害怕时，他用他的话语和信实使我得安歇
他是公义的。在我受委屈时，他告诉我，不用为自己伸冤，想尽办法用话语伤害人
他告诉我，他都知道。让我止了怒气，免了犯罪。
他在我迷失时，亲手把我牵回来
他在我孤独哭泣时，临近我
他清早把我叫起来，用圣经的话语告诉我说‘我与你同在’
他教我如何祷告，并回应了我的呼求
使那在我里面破裂的关系得以和好
他一步一步地引导我，向我指示当走的路
他在我受试探时，不只用他的天使天军保护我，还亲自的到我身边安慰我，使我刚强

他向我显明他的爱
使我认识什么是爱
他使愚昧的有智慧
使骄傲的跌倒

他使我有机会成为他的女儿
使我有机会认识那许许多多人正在寻找的安歇处与力量
他选了他的女儿作他手中的器皿
使我的生命充满真意义
他亲自做我的拉比，一步一步教导我

阿爸天父，谢谢你让我认识你
谢谢你在我还在母腹时，就选了我
谢谢你，让我可以与你亲近

主啊人算什么
你竟顾念他使他只比天使再小一点
人算什么
你竟将自己的生命舍下你竟为他们受鞭伤顺服，以至于死
人算什么你竟爱他

下个星期是受难节与复活节
2009年4月12日是去年的复活节也是我受洗的日子
谢谢上帝，谢谢耶稣，谢谢宝贵圣灵让我成为神国的一分子
让我在将来天上的宴席里有份 =D

凉风习习 =D

2010-02-04T16:19:00.000+08:00

i post the previous article in a very moody state
so lets ignore it~~

hahaha~
now only i found that there is someone actually always browse into my blog
so i have to be careful when i type an article~hehezz

okok~report my life now..
1 2 3 start!!!
i'm now at the CITC, waiting for the college bus
the bus usually fetch ppl at 1615. and my class ended at 1530.so there is 45 mins intervals
then i decided to walk to CITC from the bio lab,
as i heard swan said that she will be there after school
but it seems she isn't here.so i sit down and online
i saw mei yean while she was walking to the exit but she didn't see me
then i saw SAFETY came in and said a hi to him

haha~ok lah..come~serious.going to report now

there is a new thing happened at our lectural group
an 'and mo lang' join to our group!!!!
waw~ he is Shyed. shied, sheid~ i don't know how to spell
whatever
he came from Perak, same with miss PIAK lin and Mr chan fung
the interesting part is, he lived in US !! waw~ New York City leh!!!
i was shocked to hear that. another fun part is,
when Mr Loh ( our chemistry lectural) asked him whether they bring knife to school,
he instead answed' no, they got gun.' oh no!!!!
heart attack~lolzz
he is the mix of malay and what what. he told me but i didn't know what was that.
so i just said' Oo...'
swan seems very interested with him.haha~ she likes ang mo lang
syed is quite cute . He has nice eyes . *bling bling * like that~~

ok.stop talking about syed.

i've gone through something terrible last month.
a trial with full of fear
it happened after i watched the movie ' Legion'
i cant walk out from the movie. it seems it washed my mind
it was a trial between spirits. quite scary
but i'm proudly to say that i'm OK now =D

thanks God for never leave me behind.
thank you for protecting me
thank you as You choose me to be your child
thank you for allow me to know You
it is the best thing in the world to know You
and have You,Lord as my God
thank you =D

now is the exam week
i just finished 2 papers today, 2 more on next week
you know you know you know,
i got 47/50 for my applied math!!!hahahhahaha
so happy to hear that. but there was a girl from the lec group scored a full marks.
she is from another class..actually she was the one that i picked her paper during the orientation week.i think she doesn't know about that..the one who picked mine never contact me ==

but for today's pure math, i was out of time to do the questions.
it was so hard and i made a lot of mistakes.and those mistakes i made are mostly in the beginning part of the calculation. so i crossed them all and do again..that make me out of time.

for the GP, i was writing and writing..and i don't really know what was i writing.
haha~there was suddenly a lot of points appear in my mind when the time left only 15 mins.
so i just wrote and wrote. and the points are quite funny .
share with u guys here.
the question is ' discuss the important of history other than political history' something like that.
i wrote martin luther, history of bible ( important in religion ) ...
and the last last i wrote was about experiences and memories. the last 2 paragraph i wrote in 5 mins plus.
it is something like ' as we growing up, the history we made are recorded in our memories. we learn from the experiences that we have gone through. and some day, when we become parents of our child, we can teach them...blah blah blah~ as bed time story...blah blah~ children like true story of their parents.. blah blah~ some how will strenghten the bond between the family members~'haha~ something like that. i was wondering how could i think of this point.it sounds funny~haha...but i like that. thank you God again =D

OKAY. BUS IS COMMING. BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

深处

2010-01-21T00:19:00.000+08:00

突然想起了你
一切都变得好快
我们都回到了原点
不，你的周围改变了

我完完全全很潇洒的走了出来
那时候的眼泪
只有上帝看见
自己怎么了碰见了你我假装看不见的转头
待你上了巴士目不转睛地看着它离开
我对你已经没有感觉了
只想和你做好朋友
可是我找不到理由回去
我已经退出了还有什么理由我们可以坐在同一个桌子上吃饭
还有什么借口我们可以聚在一起
还有什么机会我们能够聊天

我已完全放下了
我的思绪不再有你虽然每次去读书时都会望向四周看你在不在
不过也许那是习惯吧

翻开了电脑看了看以前的照片
看着我们从陌生，到要好，到我无意中的喜欢你
看着那一张照片心里莫名的好酸那一个时候我真的喜欢你
还有另外一张我告诉自己这个时候的我心碎了
一直到最后一张那是我们最后一次两个一起拍照是你拿着手机

不知道为什么
这半年过的好快
接下来的这一年应该没有这半年那样的精彩
不过那一段生活真的好棒

其实我
我一直在找寻
可是我找不到
找不到自己的定位

我发觉除了我的上帝
好像没有地方是我的处所
是我停歇的地方
是我可以很轻松的安睡的地方

那一个地方是不是叫作家
那我的家在哪里？

很多时候我不会分辨
什么是真实什么是暂时性的欺骗的

以前我一直追求享受这新的生活
我真的进入了一个很fantastic的生活圈子
真的很享受

可是后来我发觉那不是我的家
所以我回到了我的家
可是却发现一切都变了那并不是我小时候熟悉的家熟悉的温暖找寻不到了
我开始回来寻找我的朋友
可是我却发现不一样了
我再回到自己的教会，自己成长的地方
可是我却发现我站着的那一块地好像。。就像我站在了别人的教堂
我回到小组发现自己也不一样了

老实说
我迷失了
而且迷失得很严重

The Prayer

2009-12-24T03:02:00.000+08:00

it is the last performance for choir in year 2009.
We prayed and cheer like what we did before the competition.
I think no one of us has ever think that the competition will change our future life as a choir member.
we got champion and we were invited by the college to perform in the 40th Anniversary.
We are popular after that, and were invited by a lot of events to be as performers.
Chinese society 20th anni,SBS Nite, SOT alummi nite, world AIDS day in wangsa walk, college sports carnivel ( which we rejected because of some issue), SOT N SAS Nite ( which we didn't perform at last because they were lack of budget to provide as dinner i guess) and finally the Hotel Management Night.
This is the last performance for our lovely n cutest Eden and also me (i think)
i'm thinking of drop and quit from choir because i cant really manage my time as an A level student.and i probably will be Super Duper busy in the coming year.But choir do meant too much to me.i feel happy and relax to be with them.i feel excited to listen our voices when they match together.i feel happy and proud to stand on stage .

Today, Tarzen, Eunice and i sang our song The Prayer. Unfortunately, it crashed with another performance , which was by June and Joseph. We sang the same song.i know this 2 days before the event night. but still we choose to sing it.
i think ppl would say that we were copying them. but actually we are not. we are the one who sang in SBS Nite fist. but the thing is, that was the 2nd performance in SBS Night, and not much of ppl hear that..

i have my quiet time with God this afternoon.
i read palsm 133 . 看哪，弟兄和睦共处是何等的美，何等的善。。
at the time, the names Joseph, June , Tarzan , Eunice and i suddenly appeared in my mind.
ya, five of us are brothers and sisters in the kingdom of Lord. We should be good to each other and helping each other. why do we use our grace from God to challenge , to compare?
so i told Tarzen and asked him how and what should we do.As we are going to offending God if we keep things to go on.
So we decided to ask Joseph if he minds the crash.As we don't will to break our relationship. and June and i was quite good friend after so many time perform in the same event.and actually i like her.(i m not lesbian aiyo, dun think too much==)
after prayed together ( Bong Yang, Tarzen, Eunice, me), Eunice and i went to talk to Joseph.
Aaiya~he is a nice guy what..
'i don't mind~ we sing different style what, and this is not a competition =) '
he replied with his big big smile
i was like waw~nice huh
so we decided to perform.

our performance was okay~ so so . i give a mark of 5/10.
for theirs, i will give a 5.5
i always told myself not to compare, as we were singing christian song and this is to glory our God.not ourselves
but i was down after our performance.althought my friends keep saying that we done well.

i don't know what had happened to me.
i don't know why do i feel guilty to June.
it is nothing actually, but still i have the feeling that we bullied them.
are we? we have already asked for permission and some more we sang this song before they had their first duet in SOT alummi night.
but still i have the feeling..why?

i m going back to JB tomorrow , to celebrate Christmas with my lovely family =)
i hope that, we-- Tarzen, Eunice, me, Joseph and June will become good friend some day.
as we believe in the same God, we have the same hope, we are family and we have the same grace of singing from God, and He put five of us in the same college, let us meet each other, and sing the same song, and perform in the same event althought we are from different schools,(Tarzen SSSH, Eunice SBS, me SPUS, Joseph SAS , June i'm not sure), and we-- joseph june tarzen n me had prayed together in the 40th anni. We are a family in the name of God.i do really hope that our friendship could tighter and lasts. ah~ add mai bong yang~~he is a part of the big big family too~haha =D
may God bless us

转身的时候

2009-11-30T16:40:00.000+08:00

他在我转身的时候
向别的女生跪下
我回过头时四周人的眼光都注视着他俩
我却不敢看

信与不信始终不能同负一厄
祝福你 =）

2009-11-14T18:47:00.000+08:00

jiaying , eden(bass) ,bryan(tenor)

Mr bong yang(bass) , bryan , tarzan ( tenor-the chairperson)

MENS SENG!!!! haha~ (tenor- the Mr OO)

our proudly troph

proudly present,

TARCOLLEGE CHOIR SOCIETY!!!

I love our choir so much

we have gone through so many practises and performances

we even practised in the recording room a day before our competition

we closed the light and our eyes , think about our love ( our mama)

but i was thinking my God at that time~

that was really awesome

we sang with our heart and soul

we hold hands , pray together before enter to the competition room

we sang as a body

our voice matches together

and we got the champion

i believe God is be with us =)

we pray together everytime when there is big big performance

and we did very well

but fot the last performance in chinese society night , we stay and pray

we ask pray for 意思意思

then we out of tune~haha

but it seems no one realize it

everyone had been so high influenced by our friend chinese ochestra

haha~

aiya , there are many photos to upload,

and i dun have that much of time

so i leave it to next time =)

byebye

the partner

2009-08-27T20:27:00.000+08:00

i was too lazy to type a blog
everytime i make a new post in my mind and i say to myself that i am gonna to type it out later
but it is too difficult for me to open into this window
so....
aha~
ya , that is

okay , today's title is my partner
ya ,the partner in A*nite
He is Kenny , same age with me i think
a friend of rojak
hmm..energetic? always jumps here jumps there
join himself into a lot of activities ( believe me , you will feel tired some day)
but it is very very fun to join those activities , and the things that you will get is above your imagination

okay , let's come back to Kenny
hmm..
what shall i say to describe him?
hmm..
ya , he is a very gentlemen guy
tall ( 178cm) , cute , white?
i knew him during the classes of dancing
that day , many of them have a partner to dance
but some of us don't have , so do him
while i was getting bored and started to sing
he suddenly came and asked me whether i want to dance with him
so i said yes. actually i haven't figure out what was going on at that moment
i've never think about to dance with a person that i've never known or even never seen before
that is like impossible to me that someone which i do not regconise will willing to ask me for a dance

everything happened at that period was like amazing , impossible
we dance in the middle of our school , on the grass
and learn some different steps
and i was quite happy during every dance
you know , this is the first time i dance with a guy
i've been longing for learning these steps for a long long time( since the 1st time i watched princess dairy i think )
and i've never think that he is the one to be my partner for the 1st dance

i quite like him actually, as he was always nice to me
that day , i means the Appreciation Nite
i sat with him ( he became my date)
and we had our dinner together
everything was like so sweet
when the committee opened the dancing floor
we had our dance at there
things going romanticly
until he said he wants to find his friends and left me there
i was like ha? what is going on?
that time , everyone was started playing and kept changing partner
and left his friend [ i duno bee or dee ] and me
so we dance together
luckily he was there , as i was blur and standing there , trying to find someone
at least i can be not alone

after some times, Kenny reappeared again and took me to his friend
he wanted me to dance with him
what?? oh~ okay , then he ajak another girl and dance
'what is the situation??' my mind cant give me the answer
then the song changed to macarela , so i dance myself

pei chiin was wondering why i stood at there alone ,
so she came and ajak me to my class group
yeah!!! she was the rescurer from the embarrassing moment
then i played and dance with my friends
we shouted together ,leave myself happy memories

aha~ there is a thing i have to say
we formed a group and three guys which we do not know join us
and played the game together
how to say ha , ,
hmm
we ran to each other holding hands ( forward)
then ran backward
that was really fun
haha
i was very enjoy the game , but shao wen was the pity one
i stepped onto her leg for two times with my 3-inches high heels
haha~so pity la

thanks God
actually i quite like him
no guy has been holding my hand for so long time except my ex
i won't let you touch me if i don't like you
and everyting was like so romantic and amazing

but after he left me
started from that moment
i was like ' hak sei ngo , run oso no way a '
haha~ i think shao wen know what i'm trying to say
and now , everytime i flash back to these memorise
i will laugh and like , waw so funny
haha~
why a? why these things could happened in my life
ahaha~

the day after Orientation Odyssey Nite 2009

2009-07-27T16:17:00.000+08:00

eloeloeloeloelo!!!
haha~
it has been a long long time that i do not update my blog
i was too lazy + my broadband got into some problems
so i failed to onine

Orientation Odyssey had ended few weeks ago
and my exam was just finished last week
therefore , now i'm a free person
hiakhiakhiak~
but i still have to stayback every Thursday and Saturday due to the choir competition
quit tiring you know
initially i wanted to join for Student Welfare Committee
who knows after i join into choir
i stuck at there
i don't think i can manage to join the another third society
i guess i have over -active
haha~
but do you know , our vice precident of choir society was a member of 4 societies ,
and he get 3.++ or 3.9+ in his CGPA , i forgot
really pro la
haha

i met tarzan here
anyone remember him??
he is the president of choir society
and i met him during the training of choir performance for OO NITE
i was very happy during the practices
and i found that i am still very enjoy to sing
especially in a choir
so i decided to join in
=)

i miss all of myvoo nite campaign finalist friends.
during the last week
we stayed back together and usually stayed untill midnight
and our relationship was getting improving
without all of you
mylife won't be as colourful as now i do
thank you very much
fu ming and calvin are really cute
haha
and my jiejie..not jia an la~
ingkar, salmon and many many more
they are the friends that we became closer starts from the last week
but i know calvin earlier la~
he helped me to colour my 'daughter'
hiak hiak~ he is only 17 years old

today our GP tutol passed our paper to us
just paper 1 la
i got 40/50!! wahahah~
so happy~~
still got another paper with full marks 50%
but i dun really think that i can get a high mark
as i do not really understand what did the question asked
actually GP is quit interesting
we laugh out loud in the topic 'language'
that was so funny
haha~

i'll try to upload some image and paste at here
because i'm in the library , and the photos are right in my pc now ,
so..wait for someday i feel i wan to upload la
haha~ , or else you can browse to shao wen's facebook
there are a lot of photos

yesterday i went to KLCC with shao wen
we went to the NORTH SEA ROAD fair
haha actually is bei2 hai3 dao4 la~
the food at there are really amazing
you should hav a try
but the prices is amazing too
ahaha~
so now , i must decrease my outcome
and i have put on weight
aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~
i wan jian fei jian fei jian fei~

forgot to write about our BASKETBALL COMPETITON
the champion team was ROJAK~
wohoo~ haha
they are so pro , i love to watch them playing basketball

to lao bi ,
i'm sorry that i didn't call you that week
as i worried that i'll say something wrong
but i still very guan xin you and your family
be shine
you have to know that
there is a Father always be with us
He is our strength He is our life
be strong , God bless you =)

now i know why God wanted me to enter TARC
i gain a lot of things that i've never hope for or think for
thank you
this is the right place
and the best place for me=)
God's way is higher than us

a week before Oo charity campaign

2009-06-23T18:09:00.000+08:00

hoo!!
it has been a long long time since i type my blog in hometown

yeah~ chear up!! i'm back
haha
let's share my life at here with you guys=)

my life is very interesting

it fulled with new fresh things which i've never done before

i met a very good friend ,pei chiin, who i always call her name wrongly to pep lin

she always beside me and consoled me when i was down
she is a beautiful girl actually

you won't concentrated to her the 1st time you meet her

but when you two become friend, you will find that she is pretty

her eys , her nose .. she is the type of [ nai4 kan4]

haha~pep lin is similar to hui yee as both of them are sport gals

she always jogging around the college place and swimming and doing gym

there are really a lot of things in my mind now

and i couldn't manage to type them 1 by 1

but i'll try to arrage them

First, i went home in the 6th day after i back to hometown

yeah , my busy life begins here , and it haven stop untill now

the next day , we as the finalists went to a studio for our photo shoot

i was so quiet that time as i don't know what should i say to them

in my team , there is only 4 person, 2indian girls , 1 chinese boy and me

the other groups are all with 6 person , and most of them are chinese

they have become good friends among themselves, but me , ya , there are sure be a barrier between indian n chinese. So i just sit at there , looking at the leng zai and leng lui.

it was quit boring , but i was happy too as this is the 1st time i stepped into a photographic studio

and there were make up team n hair stylists to style up our images.

i was standing in front of the mirror , starring at myself. Then a very handsome guy suddenly came in , and stand in front of me, looking on his own nose , face , hair ,shirt.. then he turned back and faced to me

'is it ok?' he asked .

then i answered 'ok a'

i was quit happy as finally , there is a person talk to me.

But you know , just in a few second , a group of girls came and surrounded him

'waw , you are very leng zai leh...blah blah blah~'' and kicked me out of that circle

haiz...

his nose is high , big eyes , white skin , middle mouth ,tall and thin

i've never seen him after the event ,untill one morning, when i walk to the taxi station ,

i saw him standing in front of the gate and waiting for someone . waw , he stays in the same place with me. aha~ but i've never say harlo to him perhaps he had already forgot who i am. And i'm not really desperate to be his friend. Aiya , no current between us. althought he is really handsome

I keep going to school every day during the holidays, and busy with the oo campaign stuff in swc room. i'm the creative designer , and my job is to design clothes , handphone bag, the booth and the flier.

i was very happy to do that stuff and i do finished it on time after few weeks of ' kai1 ye4 che1'

but there had something happened and i was not happy at all during that time

i used to angry and moody every time i think about that

then, i broken down last week

i couldn't stand with that condition

and i cried for the whole night

i know God wants me to learn something , to love them

but i was too stress. so i cried

jia an n lysa was schoked, and they had became my listener , and listen to my wei3 qu1 for 1 hour i think

the next day , i went to church , and i felt better at there

finally i can laugh and smile. i tell my cell group about my thing

and asked them to pray for me

After that , i finally felt better

Thanks God, He always console me by His word in the time when i waswalking with Him

Thanks God as He listens to our pray

and i've now found me happiness and joyful. i can manage those kind of thing better than before .

i do very very enjoy in this campaign

and i love it.

i meet a lot of new friends during these time with the campaign , that they are from different schools

we are now friends and we can chat to each other freely n happily which couldn't found in the beginning. i'm happy to be with SBS ,SSSH ,and SOT

that is after a day of became actors and a cheerful seminar , the resaons we became closer

Next week will be our campaign week , but we haven found sponsors for the cloth and handphone bag. But i know my God will be my side so i need not to worry.

i do always say that the short-cut in our college has ghost

you know what???

i fall down at different short cut twice in a week!!!!!

one was in front of the library and one was in front of canteen 1 , the long kang there.

it was so embarassing that before i fall down to the longkong , a boy was walking slowly in front of me

then i speeded up my velocity and cut him . then , i fall down . after that , he raised me up as i was blanking at that moment. Haiz.. and my leg is now pain T.T

wangsa maju got H1N1. youknow , just in few days before , shao wen came to my place and we go wangsa to have our dinner.will we get the diseases?
i don't think so actually.it will be good too as it means that our college will be closed for a week.hahaha

wohoo~ again ,he kept me off from hit by the door

hahaha~~

today , something funny happened

our poster comes out and it was pasted in front of the stairs of the entering of SPUS

many of my friends saw that and told me , so i quickly rushed and have a look on it

waw , that was so unlike me

that is an aunty la!! not like me at all~

i really doesn't suitable for make up

it makes me older for 5 years!!

nature is beauty nature is beauty

i dun care , natural is beauty !!! lalala~

i bought the ticket of our appreciation night yesterday

i was so happy with that

it cost RM40

i am so excited with it

ya , and also with the outing for all Oo FINALIST on the coming Sunday

haha

you know what , 20% of us is christian

and initially , the commitee want us to pray in a mosque

but luckily it be held on Sunday ,

so we as christian have to go to church

therefore, we will go to the same church and miss that praying time

yeah!! haha

God's plan is so amazing =)

yeah~ Let's CHILL!!!

IT'S PHOTO TIME!!

in the lectural hall shao wen , me pep lin , peichiin

this is the. beautifal girl i told you just now, peichiin

my new good friend=)

in yamyam place

me n kelvin from SOT

LARRY , ME , MICHELLE ===SPUS!!!

SBS friend who taught me how to make up

in the lab=== titration

friend from SOT

WITH Mr Liw

Justine from SBS, avery gentlemen guy

en hui from SBS. pretty n cute girl

serene from SAS. cute n nice voice

gathering with shao wen n cai xuan at Axtivo cafe

2009-06-03T00:10:00.001+08:00

yaya , shao wen cai xuan n i had had our gathering today at Axtivo cafe

that place is my 3rd of 4th home..

i hav many home actually..haha.

church la , tarc la , mutiara rini , axtivo , blah blah blah~
it's really boring to share you guys story without pictures n photos

nah~ here they are

these are the menus of Axtivo cafe

i selected a white sause fish italy mee and shao wen the spicy sauce fish italy mee

Let's make a camparism between them , whose is nicer??

vs

mine?

or shao wen's

i think both of them are very nice , but for mine , after i drank our chocolate blenz ,

the taste of white sauce was failed to detect by my taste buds anymore==

after having our meal and chit chat for a long long time , then only cai xuan came and joined us

they kept talking bout their hikage thing , and i was just became the side view

after that , we took a taxi and headed for cs [ our shopping trip begins here]

i want to buy a school bag and shao wen the shoes

the taxi uncle is very talkative , he used to chat with shao wen non- stopping

and after the conversation had finished , he continued to call to his friend and complaint about the traffic jam. he was so excited when shao wen seems to know the artist who took a photo with him in the past. honoustly , i've never heard about that name before lo. then i just kept quiet and say 'haha ,waw~'

she looks sexy huh

hahahha

i doesn't slim enough to fit that congsam. that's really sad you know T.T

i felt hungry suddenly , maybe it caused by the bad mood of doesn't fitted to the congsam

then we headed for my lovely place , summer

i like the food at there , and i usually order the same thing everytime i go to that plce

and i use to come here most of the time when i go shopping in cs

there was a couple sat behind us. the guy is quite handsome , but he always makes out some disgusting sound while we were eating.

that is really DISGUSTING

after having our dinner , we kept shopping n tested clothes.She said she wants to show me the beautiful roxy dress , but we couldn't find any roxy shop in cs. too bad la.

nevermind shao wen , i think sungai wang will have that shop

Shao wen bought a swimming suit today , and i bought a bag as i wish so

ya , let's go for swimming after we back to KL

dun ask me to go gym because of no swimming suit again!!

haha~

We went back to tmn u by bus

we met a women suddenly , she was lost , so we as kind people took her to her destiny

haha.. so good huh . she is a christian too . she comes from Sabah or Sarawak and she was going to a church. thanks God we passed my mum's car so that we could met that women after we failed to chase the car , and therefore we could took her to her way.

Thank God=) His work is so amazing. all the things are just in time =D

so good huh

let's chill~ hahahha

good night

a.. there is one thing

the Oo , I had just open the mail send by them , you know what , they increased the amount from 5k to 10k. Ohno , do you think we can do it? and our budget is just the very little RM200

oh oh~

my mum rocks` hahaha

2009-05-31T19:56:00.000+08:00

you know what
actually ,Rhyno's owner is my mum's friend in internet
ohno~what did the website do to my mum while i was in KL??
haha
web friend?/?
and now , they are gathering in my house [ the owner and their friends]
it's impossible la
how could it be happening?
my mum was an anti-internet and she even untrusted with anything in the internet.
it is true. ANYTHING in the internet
she always told me not to believe them
but now , she even hav a gathering with them
oh no.. headage is saying helo to me

what's wrong with my mum
oh oh oh oh oh~~

Rhyno doesn't sick as i told you yesterday
he was being punched and hit by the owner's neighbour untill blood out of his mouth and nose.
Rhyno is very strong , he has strength to live on.
He struggled a lot while they thought that he might die in the following night.
it was an amazing that he can still alive.
the neighbours are veitnamise. They guess they wanted to eat Rhyno , and beat him untill to the corner of life.
i am sad to hear that.
According to them ,Rhyno was a food-lover. He used to knock the gate everytime when he smelled the cooking food. After the abused , he had totally changed.

He is a little bit different with Philip. He will sit when my mum ordered and would not chase the cats after scoleded by my mum. Philip would totally different!! He wouldn't hiu us, he just did what he wanted to do and would never sit when we wanted him to sit. He instead running faster when we called Philip Philip.
But there is still 1 thing mutual between them --they are following-worm.haha~ They used to follow my mum wherever she go.So cute huh~

okay, i got to go , i have to design the clothes for the raise fund. bye everyone =)

i'm living in a pet-house

2009-05-30T16:58:00.000+08:00

oh no

i came back to JB, my home town this morning and i found something horrible.

my home is becoming a pet house.

There is a new commer here - Rhyno .He is a male dog, yup, full with fur

actually he is my mum's friend's dogggie, but his housemate dun like the dog,

so he let it stay in my house.

the dog is smelly, he make me flu.

i think there will be a fight today night , as miaomiao[ my arrogent cat ] hate him. She used to 'roar' at him and she is now very angry with the new commer.

Rhyno was found by his new owner beside the street. The kind man felt pity and took him home. He picked up the responsibility to take care of him.

Rhyno got sick few days ago. Blood out of his mouth. They took him to a clinic and he is now healed, but he refuses to eat , although we try to give him chicken , which was philip's[ my lovely ex-dog] favourite.

let u guys see the photo of rhyno

he used to smile while i captured it

he is cute isn't he?

i thought he is a female the 1st time i saw him

he is just looks like girl la~

haha

travelng to a new step

2009-05-29T18:35:00.000+08:00

yea~
finally i decide to open this bloggie
today is 29 may 2009 , which is my 1st day in blogspot
happy welcome to me
happy welcome to me
happy welcome to jia ying
happy welcome to myself~
haha

i'm now staying at KL and i'm a tarcian from SPUS , and also the Oo night campaign SPUS representative
haha so cool huh
it is quit fun to enter Oo
althought i didn't meet a lot of friends like the organisers and helpers said
but i still meet some friends
we plan our booth together , find sponsers and hav meeting oftenly
it is fun to organise a campaign
not that ' serius' and 'stress' that i thought before
it is a serius thing , but we do it happily and we actually enjoying ourselves
i'm the designer , lary the spokeman , michelle the ..what's her job huh? suddenly forget
and another indian girl i forgot her name. and there is one person too , but i never meet him/her before. he/she used to miss the meeting for second times already.
5 of us are in the same group. we are representing SPUS.
for me , this is a small glory.haha.
i love it. and the most interesting is , the Student Welfare Commitee [ swc] will guide us and help us if needed. that's cool. i like them.
they are so cute.haha. they made us feel comfortable staying in tarc and used to be happy throughout the orientation days.

just now i was asking shao wen for designing our clothes and caps
and she accepted it
haha. i'm so happy and i think i'll buy the shirt she designed
they are all limited , so it is very very valuable.

last Friday, many of us missed our classes to support the Monopoly conducted by game and telemath ,SWC.
it was fun and tiring. we almost breath broken in the catapillar game. but to me, that was the most interesting game.
my limbs pained for two days after the games

ya , this is our group

here is our group coordinator

this is one of the member of SWC, tony [ the red shirt guy with microphone]

haha. he is really cute and funny

today something weird happened

i was being cheated and used to da1 shan4 a leng zai the 1st time in my life

oh no , that is terrible

my image was totally broken

my friend wanted me to go along with her, then i did so

she said she wanted to find a friend. on the half way ,only she told me that she is finding a guy

and she wants to have his hp num. i shocked but i dun know how to refuse it. so we continued to find him. then , she sat in front of him and chat with him. she said her friend wants to hav his number[ ya , that's true , she was helping her friend that time]

after the chat finished , she introduced me to him. then i quikly explained that i'm not the girl!!ok, that's all

after class , i suddenly meet him again.

oh no that was too embarrassing.

then his friend said' wa , so leng zai that many girls wan to know you a''

eheh , not me lo..

on no.. my image~~~

but nvm la. things had already happened

and i've never angry with her , as there is friendship between us

and i hav already forgot what do him looks like.

maybe we wouldn't meet again

haha